Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64292) - you deserved it (5598)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6238) - you deserved it (78997)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (1432)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

#3854
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25581) - you deserved it (2510)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:57pm - work - by thatsillegal - United States (New York)

Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

#3757
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25363) - you deserved it (1395)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:05pm - health - by ihateeverything - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20847) - you deserved it (5239)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (3146)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18936) - you deserved it (2298)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17683) - you deserved it (4757)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23098) - you deserved it (2113)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6698) - you deserved it (26448)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20046) - you deserved it (1589)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

#2705
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (6789)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: