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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

#197450
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74974) - you deserved it (25586)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by camp (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

#197366
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75228) - you deserved it (3451)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by JTo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68569) - you deserved it (4198)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

#171559
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61857) - you deserved it (13515)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm - kids - by hi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML

#169067
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48552) - you deserved it (6360)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:14am - kids - by Aliya (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a tap on my shoulder and had no idea where I was. I quickly discovered It was 11 am and I was still at the bar I had been drinking at the night before. My shoes were gone. FML

#158750
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9936) - you deserved it (54556)

On 02/28/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by mylifeisamovie - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (51183)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any European guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML

#146890
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65735) - you deserved it (6526)

On 02/26/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by bilol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

#144886
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11751) - you deserved it (74654)

On 02/26/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by belladonna (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML

#137765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47647) - you deserved it (5541)

On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML

#133390
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45233) - you deserved it (5545)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:15pm - work - by hairy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15674) - you deserved it (70347)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)



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