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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML

#6715
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26722) - you deserved it (3598)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:38pm - love - by Sam - United States (New York)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6935) - you deserved it (48194)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

#6446
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39027) - you deserved it (7271)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by ally (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

#5939
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30515) - you deserved it (11146)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15538) - you deserved it (44754)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18661) - you deserved it (7047)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18956) - you deserved it (3398)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64337) - you deserved it (5601)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6245) - you deserved it (79121)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (1435)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

#3854
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25616) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:57pm - work - by thatsillegal - United States (New York)

Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

#3757
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (1400)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:05pm - health - by ihateeverything - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20891) - you deserved it (5250)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)



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