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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (2297)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17629) - you deserved it (4745)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (2107)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6676) - you deserved it (26374)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19965) - you deserved it (1584)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

#2705
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27980) - you deserved it (6704)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30868) - you deserved it (2248)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15953) - you deserved it (2067)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20496) - you deserved it (1955)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, I took a crap at work. When I go to flush the toilet, it clogs and begins to overflow. I leave the bathroom the way it is and as I walk out, my boss comes in. FML

#1353
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15657) - you deserved it (8684)

On 01/16/2009 at 9:45am - work - by DonPedro - United States (New York)

Today, I found my car completely vandalized when I came home from work. A paper on the seat read "That's for what you did to Hannah you fuck". Hannah? FML

#1295
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31889) - you deserved it (1591)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:32pm - love - by Camm. - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

#1077
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16804) - you deserved it (2071)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)



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