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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

#35674
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11985) - you deserved it (40453)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13085) - you deserved it (43964)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

#33444
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51185) - you deserved it (5504)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

#33255
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18235) - you deserved it (39628)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

#25578
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10938) - you deserved it (38621)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by red button - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

#24997
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (7703)

On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

#22263
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44963) - you deserved it (15649)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11234) - you deserved it (69208)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37291) - you deserved it (15083)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for our 8 month anniversary, my boyfriend bought me a hideous necklace with ugly charms hanging off it. I wore it anyway and got a rash from it on the side of my neck. After seeing the rash my boyfriend accused me of having a hickey from another guy and broke up with me. FML

#16292
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62360) - you deserved it (4181)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

#13786
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34034) - you deserved it (2379)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (New York)



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