Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30800) - you deserved it (2246)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15911) - you deserved it (2066)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20445) - you deserved it (1953)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19873) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, I took a crap at work. When I go to flush the toilet, it clogs and begins to overflow. I leave the bathroom the way it is and as I walk out, my boss comes in. FML

#1353
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15518) - you deserved it (8633)

On 01/16/2009 at 9:45am - work - by DonPedro - United States (New York)

Today, I found my car completely vandalized when I came home from work. A paper on the seat read "That's for what you did to Hannah you fuck". Hannah? FML

#1295
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (1575)

On 01/15/2009 at 6:32pm - love - by Camm. - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

#1077
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16772) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

#792
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14335) - you deserved it (36473)

On 01/07/2009 at 4:54pm - money - by Perdedor - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to sell 2,000 options contracts, but I bought them instead, resulting in a big loss. FML

#586
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5618) - you deserved it (17831)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:23am - work - by Dope - United States (New York)

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

#288
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43229) - you deserved it (9388)

On 11/12/2008 at 9:39am - intimacy - by AirOne - United States (New York)

Today, I am supposed to be doing my homework. Instead, I'm wasting my time on here. Yeah, it's kinda my fault. FML

#94
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13547) - you deserved it (100713)

On 10/27/2008 at 10:53am - misc - by me - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Freaks's Illustrated FML
  • What's going on? Something weird is going on. I can feel it in my bones. Can't you? People are acting weird, as if they're short-fused all of a sudden. There's definitely…

Friday 1 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: