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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

#3854
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24728) - you deserved it (2421)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:57pm - work - by thatsillegal - United States (New York)

Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

#3757
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (927)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:05pm - health - by ihateeverything - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

#3670
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (5189)

On 01/30/2009 at 9:42am - love - by anonymous neighbor - United States (New York)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19198) - you deserved it (2799)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (2036)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15589) - you deserved it (4305)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21002) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5497) - you deserved it (23258)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick. FML

#2860
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19166) - you deserved it (1529)

On 01/27/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by dammed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

#2705
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26454) - you deserved it (6506)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by bad surprise - United States (New York)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (2184)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14635) - you deserved it (1932)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend showed his mother photos of me. He told her that he thinks I'm pretty. She said that I look like a celebrity from her country (Korea). Flattered, I online searched this celebrity, and turns out she is a local porn star who's undergone multiple cosmetic surgeries. FML

#2388
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20033) - you deserved it (1919)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by sigh - United States (New York)



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