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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

#7921
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (6105)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by fml_for_real - United States (New York)

Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML

#6715
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (3585)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:38pm - love - by Sam - United States (New York)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6908) - you deserved it (48057)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

#6446
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38923) - you deserved it (7254)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by ally (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

#5939
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30405) - you deserved it (11103)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15495) - you deserved it (44638)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18557) - you deserved it (7034)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18839) - you deserved it (3392)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63411) - you deserved it (5491)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

#3992
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5945) - you deserved it (77411)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:48am - love - by jeesh - United States (New York)

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

#3934
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23391) - you deserved it (1429)

On 01/30/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by shit - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

#3854
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25520) - you deserved it (2505)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:57pm - work - by thatsillegal - United States (New York)

Today, the dentist had to give me a lot of novacaine because my mouth wasn't becoming numb. After the 4th time the entire right side of my mouth was numb, except for the 2 teeth getting worked on. FML

#3757
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25285) - you deserved it (1389)

On 01/30/2009 at 12:05pm - health - by ihateeverything - United States (New York)



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