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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

#40460
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (2264)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by clementine8 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

#37714
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33508) - you deserved it (2495)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm - misc - by samrodpuertorico (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said "Yeah, horizontally." FML

#37276
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (6139)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by shorty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

#35674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11553) - you deserved it (39799)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12517) - you deserved it (42861)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was complaining to my sister about how jealous I was of her looks. Her response was "Sometimes it's okay to be the ugly sister. Like, you have less of a chance of getting raped." FML

#33444
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51072) - you deserved it (5496)

On 02/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Duckie W (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML

#33255
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17601) - you deserved it (38676)

On 02/12/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by SmokedSalmon (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML

#25578
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10660) - you deserved it (38040)

On 02/11/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by red button - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML

#24997
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32578) - you deserved it (7692)

On 02/11/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by seriously?! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car with a group of my girl friends discussing sexual experiences when I looked down and realized my Blackberry had dialed the family I babysit for and had left a five minute voicemail. FML

#22263
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44143) - you deserved it (15333)

On 02/10/2009 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

#21808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10904) - you deserved it (68418)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by JLoistheBomb (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37204) - you deserved it (15028)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)



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