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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML

#133390
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44944) - you deserved it (5512)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:15pm - work - by hairy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14284) - you deserved it (66490)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it stuck mid-floor. Being supportive, I went to hug her and tell her we'll be OK. Today I also learned that my girlfriend is deathly claustrophobic and her predominant reaction is to vomit. In this case, all over me. We were stuck for 2 hours. FML

#132840
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49954) - you deserved it (3204)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:53pm - love - by goingup? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I farted in my cubicle thinking no one would smell it. Two seconds later, everyone came to my cubicle to wish me a happy birthday. FML

#132176
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21387) - you deserved it (38032)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:31am - misc - by riappp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122652) - you deserved it (22237)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

#112502
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (7959)

On 02/23/2009 at 9:16am - work - by Debbie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

#99356
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28282) - you deserved it (78178)

On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

#97729
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91982) - you deserved it (6892)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

#90638
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67556) - you deserved it (10679)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by acw2110 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML

#87320
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46910) - you deserved it (3690)

On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42066) - you deserved it (2424)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50049) - you deserved it (5000)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41807) - you deserved it (7913)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)



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