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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I went to an Honors Convocation for my school. I received a letter a few weeks earlier telling me I received an award. Surprised and proud, I invited my family to join me to see what award I was receiving. I couldn't find my name in the program. I was invited by mistake. FML

#247185
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51184) - you deserved it (2611)

On 03/08/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

#243241
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40351) - you deserved it (11806)

On 03/08/2009 at 4:35pm - misc - by fashionVictim (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

#242557
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52448) - you deserved it (9973)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm - kids - by nutsucker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML

#238492
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28599) - you deserved it (55128)

On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15054) - you deserved it (65415)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
159 comments

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

#221639
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48455) - you deserved it (10515)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:29pm - misc - by dizzlewizzle - United States (New York)

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

#221601
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48259) - you deserved it (26328)

On 03/05/2009 at 9:27pm - misc - by mr.palendrome (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad and a construction worker were having a long talk. I heard the door slam, and assumed that this worker had left. So I yelled out "Hey dad what were you talking about? Did you talk slowly so the idiot could understand?" Turns out my dad was the one who had walked out. FML

#219438
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6392) - you deserved it (61136)

On 03/05/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by anashaalmajiid (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

#210139
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58569) - you deserved it (3525)

On 03/04/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

#197450
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74787) - you deserved it (25526)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by camp (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

#197366
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75030) - you deserved it (3441)

On 03/03/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by JTo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67235) - you deserved it (4090)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)



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