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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

#13786
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33808) - you deserved it (2365)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years sent me a text messages saying, "Don't worry I'm gonna break up with her soon. Love you." FML

#10627
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62240) - you deserved it (2628)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by nycgirl424 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered in my house a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer except me. FML

#9673
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26558) - you deserved it (7342)

On 02/05/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Tori (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered my mom has over 20 sites bookmarked on her laptop, all having to do with 'How To Boost Your Insecure Teen's Confidence' or 'How To Help Your Overweight Teen Have A Positive Self Image'. Thanks, mommy. FML

#8629
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28642) - you deserved it (6160)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

#7921
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32499) - you deserved it (6101)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by fml_for_real - United States (New York)

Today, I showed my boyfriend a picture of me in what I thought was a sexy skintight dress. He responded by saying "it's ok, I went through a pudgy stage too". The picture was from Saturday night. FML

#6715
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26535) - you deserved it (3582)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:38pm - love - by Sam - United States (New York)

Today, after a late night at a bar, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking, I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response was, "I live here." FML

#6479
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6784) - you deserved it (47653)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I just met, and when I thought he was about to orgasm, he actually had an asthma attack. FML

#6446
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (7247)

On 02/03/2009 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by ally (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her new clothes. She's gone from a size 4 to a size 12 during our relationship. FML

#5939
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30345) - you deserved it (11086)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:47am - love - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had just opened up some porn on my laptop when my mom walked into my room, so I slammed the laptop shut. I didn't know the speakers continue to function after the laptop is closed. FML

#5925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15463) - you deserved it (44587)

On 02/03/2009 at 5:24am - intimacy - by hitmutefirst (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I am going to an event where I will be meeting quite a few people who will be excellent contacts in my future career. Since I wanted to make a good impression, I did the whole makeup and grooming thing before setting out, I accidentally removed about half my left eyebrow. FML

#5776
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18499) - you deserved it (7024)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:10pm - work - by wiseoldone - United States (New York)

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18777) - you deserved it (3381)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style position was fun, it made him wonder what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

#4489
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63323) - you deserved it (5488)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:53am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)



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