FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

by trgtyo / 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

by gameguy3424 / 05/17/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

by bosssssssss765432 / 05/16/2009 at 11:20am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

by not4geeks / 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (New York) / Geek

Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML

by alicemassie / 05/14/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

by NoComparison / 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

by Loser / 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 4:58pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 4:56pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my boss in my police dept. told me to start enforcing the "no bikes on sidewalks" law which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with down syndrome who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 2:29pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

by samantha246 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous