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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML

#84898
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41097) - you deserved it (2342)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML

#79669
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49072) - you deserved it (4873)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML

#79349
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41672) - you deserved it (7898)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML

#75712
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43097) - you deserved it (2484)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48184) - you deserved it (9789)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46795) - you deserved it (11872)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

#69443
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42588) - you deserved it (6093)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:09pm - health - by Kristina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

#69080
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43479) - you deserved it (4156)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by wnrz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60483) - you deserved it (19359)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

#62507
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31200) - you deserved it (8298)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:56pm - work - by jessica (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the 9th grade dean called me into his office to talk. He asked me if I was new because it seemed like I was having trouble making friends. I've been going to the same school, with the same people, since kindergarten. FML

#61583
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41067) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/17/2009 at 4:53pm - misc - by lene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after some very passionate sex with my girlfriend, she exclaims "that was amazing Drew..." She quickly tried to turn "Drew" into my actual name which does not sound a thing like Drew. FML

#60541
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64800) - you deserved it (3482)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by mynameisnotdrew (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said "you smell really good." He turned to me and said "You don't." FML

#59427
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48686) - you deserved it (11982)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:10am - intimacy - by pixie (woman) - United States (New York)



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