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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36407) - you deserved it (2967)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39687) - you deserved it (13956)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (39343)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42887) - you deserved it (3291)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML

Today, I turned around after loading the washing machine to discover my husband's 89-year-old grandmother dropping her pants. She looked at me and said, "I hope you don't mind but when you got to go, you got to go." She then sat down on the toilet and let out a loud, long fart. FML

#20857413
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (3099)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:48am - misc - by Grandmas lost it - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

#20857270
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53099) - you deserved it (6904)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:21pm - work - by nowork - United States (New York)

Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML

#20856558
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52139) - you deserved it (4676)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50964) - you deserved it (13311)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

#20844605
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40122) - you deserved it (3380)

On 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm - misc - by FamilyLoving - United States (New York)

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

#20843210
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38907) - you deserved it (3851)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (39030)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

#20823726
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45654) - you deserved it (9047)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm - health - by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack - United States (New York)



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