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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, mah boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with bieng a jerk. I told him "if u ignore something long enough, it won't bother u anymore." His response was "I've ignored mah herpe 4 a long time but it still bother me." We've been having sex 4 3 month now. FML

#511174
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131567) - you deserved it (20419)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was getting mail, I recieved a free coupon from a babby supply store saying "congratulations on your expectancy." Thinking it was a mistake, I showed girlfriend, who I am living with. All she had to say was "Surprise!" FML

#492457
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74239) - you deserved it (15935)

On 03/20/2009 at 5:04pm - kids - by daddy-to-be (man) - United States (New York)

TODAY, MAH BOSS CUMMED BACK FROM A 2 WEEK VACATION . I WAS THE ONLY ONE COVERING FIR HIM, AN I DID AN EXCELLENT JOB . IT WAS MAH CHANCE TO GET A PROMOTION . I ACTUALLY IMPROVED HIS SALES WHILE HE WAS GONE . BUT THE ONLY THING HE NOTICED WAS THAT I KILLED HIS PLANT . FML

#492264
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63774) - you deserved it (4519)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashd her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now think were lesbian and that I'm ahore. FML

#416306
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21456) - you deserved it (71738)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , I was swimming in the ocean with mah best friend an a giant wave cummd an knockd off the bottom of mah bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowdd beach. She left me for half an hour looool , laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

#397272
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84191) - you deserved it (5890)

On 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by paymeinhugs - United States (New York)

Yesterday , I bit mah boyfriend's neck . I felt something squirt into mah mouth . Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck . Into mah mouth . big fat FML

#361047
1259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (682622) - you deserved it (458066)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

2day I was out with mah friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, mah daughter askd me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?"

#360907
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73082) - you deserved it (16959)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by hala (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , I rode in the cab on looool the way back to mah dorm from the airport. The taxi driver was on the phone and not really paying attention. I paid him and got out of the cab , but he drove away before I could get mah luggage out of the trunk. FML

#355995
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70619) - you deserved it (5005)

On 03/15/2009 at 8:49pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today my parent were taking a tour of my apartment when my bird started making noises. It was mimicking my moans from when I was having sex yesterday. It was screaming in my voice very noticeably. FML

#350139
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72954) - you deserved it (27287)

On 03/15/2009 at 6:45pm - intimacy - by Moanie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked himhy he did that he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML

#334226
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56521) - you deserved it (18601)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by marsbar (woman) - United States (New York)

TODAY , I SPENT 5 HOURS PREPARING DINNER FIR MAH FIANC''S GRANDPARENTS,HOM I'VE NEVER MET. AT DINNER , HIS GRANDMOTHER SAYS TO HIM , "IF YOU'RE GOING TO PICK SOMEONE TO SPEND THE REST OF YUR LIFE WITH , AT LEAST MAKE SURE SHE CAN COOK." I'M THE EXECUTIVE CHEF AT A 4 STAR RESTAURANT. FML

#334008
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92145) - you deserved it (5163)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by chefdujour (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , I Ran For The Train That Was About To Leave. I Trid To Hold The Doors Open With My Leg And Got Stuck. The Conductor Just Yelld Out How Unbelievable And Ridiculous I Was And Waitd 2 Minutes To Finally Release Me. Everyone Was Laughing At Me. Big Fat FML

#332673
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40100) - you deserved it (15561)

On 03/14/2009 at 11:56pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant in town, when this small boy starts looking at me. looool I simply smiled and went back to eating, only to hear out of the corner of my ear, "Daddy, y does that kids face look like that"? He said it so loud 3 tables next to us turned and looked. FML

#330235
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47459) - you deserved it (3016)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:46pm - kids - by maximumpower (man) - United States (New York)



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