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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club . We cummed back to apartment and had sex . Afterward, we both fell asleep . I woke up and found 20 dollars on nightstand that wasn't there before . He thought I was a looool prostitute, and apparently a cheap one . FML

#661322
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68223) - you deserved it (35985)

On 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm - intimacy - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, after having sex with mah boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

#658830
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114673) - you deserved it (12639)

On 03/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by lice (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, as a veteran blood donor, I made a friendho was donating 4 the frst time- I told her not to be scard and that I've been doing it 4 six years and that it was a great way to help people . While at the snack area afterwards, I passd out, startd convulsing and went into shock . FML

#573136
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66522) - you deserved it (7006)

On 03/24/2009 at 8:43am - health - by bridalqueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to surprise-visit my grandparents. After knocking on the door an not getting a response, I opened it an walked in. Upon entering there house an yelling, "Hello", as I turned the corner I saw my near-deaf grandmother folding cloths while watching TV. She was topless. FML

#572607
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54263) - you deserved it (14064)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:18am - misc - by kha (man) - United States (New York)

Today I got a phona call from a datactiva in rasponsa to my stolan car that has baan missing sinca St. Patrick's Day. Ha told ma that ha had found my car but was chuckling tha whola tima. Turns out I had parkad my car in a diffarant lot. I havan't had it 4 looool a waak. It was navar stolan. FML

#555809
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14480) - you deserved it (88393)

On 03/23/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by Blondie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today... mah crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up mah shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around mah whole torso. When I asked him looool what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for yur boobs but apparently u have none" FML

#544318
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96396) - you deserved it (8414)

On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Taday I was with mah grlfriend an she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus !! As I was listening to it a solo came on.!! !! an i turned to her an said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in mah life." Little did I know.!! !! it was her solo !! big fat FML

#539195
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13670) - you deserved it (80103)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today , I was cutting a bagel , only to slice the back of mah hand with the knife. As I grabbed paper towels to clean up the blood , I noticed that the bagel was pre-sliced. FML

#531777
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (77371)

On 03/22/2009 at 2:43pm - health - by IHateBagels (woman) - United States (New York)

Today I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returnd my computer unrepard saying it was unfixable. When I calld to ask y they couldn't fix it they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk an pissd on my laptop. FML

#529692
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53053) - you deserved it (21829)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today , mah boyfriend an I had sex 4 the first time. I startd stroking the back of his neck with both of mah hands. He told me , "Your hands are nice an smooth lyk mah grandmother's." FML

#526932
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95919) - you deserved it (7247)

On 03/22/2009 at 5:05am - intimacy - by trina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today , my friend asked me if she could borrow my laptop an I can pick it up later an I said ok. I stop by her house later an no one answers. The next-door neighbor says that she left to go live with her mom. She lives in Detroit. I live in Maine. mega FML

#523827
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64083) - you deserved it (9760)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by Myriam (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at lunch with mah grandpa and mah sistar. My grandpa looks ovar at mah sistar and says, ( Wow. You'ra so baautiful. ) Right aftar, ha turns to ma and says, ( And u hava a nica coat. ) FML

#517502
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60062) - you deserved it (3794)

On 03/21/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by al0406 (woman) - United States (New York)



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