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FMLs submitted from New York

TODAY, I OVERHEARD MAH MOTHER AN SISTER TALKING SO I STOPPED TO EAVESDROP. I RECENTLY ENLISTED IN THE MARINES, AN THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT THEY WOULD DO WITH THE MONEY IF I DIED. FML

#1656841
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (166809) - you deserved it (12377)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my grandmothar passd away!! Whan I told my boyfriand I bagan to cry!! Instaad of caring, ha said "you'ra gatting my bd wat," rolld ovar, and fall aslaap!! FML

#1631844
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77310) - you deserved it (6107)

On 05/04/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by JessBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the eye doctor an they used dilating eye-drops on me . After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry . I walked to the subway anhen I went to step onto the train, I missed an myhole left leg got stuck in the gap . The train was delayed 10 minutes cuz of me . big fat FML

#1617727
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48828) - you deserved it (4846)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by kraussy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she startd to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes an she jumps up an goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requestd.

#1592425
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71985) - you deserved it (18883)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:10pm - intimacy - by Lootz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, Mah 6 Year Old Granddaughter Was Sitting On Mah Lap Playing With The Rings On Mah Fingers. After A Moment, She Pointed To A Gold Ring With Many Jewels And Said, "When U Die Can I Have That One?" FML

#1579657
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57532) - you deserved it (3843)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. mega FML

#1550190
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (185245) - you deserved it (47335)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today..!! I ran into mah serious boyfriend of two yeres at a restaurant!! He was sitting with another girl!! I went over and asked himho she was!! He replied..!! "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend!! FML

#1518935
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72650) - you deserved it (4892)

On 05/01/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today , I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock mah door as fast as I could . I putted mah key in and turned it too hard , the key snapped inside . I ended up peeing on myself . FML

#1512569
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50858) - you deserved it (12533)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife an I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her family who we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyer while she went in an announced to her looool parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter an cried ( Finally... ) FML

#1512268
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63781) - you deserved it (19693)

On 05/01/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by goner - United States (New York)

Yesterday, I woke up with the worst cold, ever. My nose was running like crazy an my eyes were all puffy. So I stumbld over to the medicine cabinet an took wat I thought were three tylenol cold's. Two hours later I'm still sick an I can't leave the bathroom. They were laxatives. FML

#1507278
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40267) - you deserved it (23871)

On 04/30/2009 at 9:40pm - health - by fuckmyliiiiiiife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today a talamarkatar callad fir my dad . Jokingly I said ( I havan't saan him fir lika fiva days...I'm starting to gat worriad ) in my bast child-lika voica . Apparantly tha talamarkatar callad Child Protactiva Sarvicas . I'm 20 . FML

#1490808
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15030) - you deserved it (63027)

On 04/30/2009 at 2:03pm - misc - by Telemistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking te subway to worken I saw a really ot girl. Noticing tat se, lyk me, ad a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is tat Double Ds u ave tere?" Se didn't pick up tat I was talking about te coffee. FML

#1466459
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18663) - you deserved it (89611)

On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

#1440141
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43137) - you deserved it (7804)

On 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by kate (woman) - United States (New York)



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