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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I discovered that I had left my sunroof open all night during a storm and my front seats was soaked. I grabbed a towel for my seat but didn't close my sunroof because it was nice out. As I pull out of my driveway, I felt something wet hit my forehead. A bird shit on me through my sunroof. FML

#1016784
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53765) - you deserved it (14235)

On 04/16/2009 at 10:38am - animals - by oops1234 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

#1008813
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14022) - you deserved it (50480)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:09am - work - by jusfonzin (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a panic attack so I called my parents. My brother answered to say my parents couldn't come to the phone because they were watching 24. Its ten o'clock and 24 is not on now. They were watching 24 on TiVo and couldn't pause it to come to the phone. FML

#1006191
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49821) - you deserved it (4664)

On 04/15/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by happyharriet (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I backed my car into a parked car in a parking lot. Not only did I back into a parked car, but it was the ONLY parked car there. FML

#991895
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12838) - you deserved it (64250)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML

#981592
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92213) - you deserved it (37834)

On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

#966838
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16795) - you deserved it (83516)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by seussical65 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (87468)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, I noticed a spider on a female co-worker's shirt. I gently brushed it off. She accused me of sexual harassment. FML

Today, as I was walking into CVS, two older men outside said to me "Young lady, please consider us on your way out." Thinking they were hitting on me, I rolled my eyes and said "Screw you." When I walked back outside, I realized they were asking for AIDS donations. FML

#912798
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8386) - you deserved it (77831)

On 04/11/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a friend's sweet sixteen. Since I didn't know any else at the party I was really happy when the mother told me she sat me next to someone she thought I would have a lot in common with. He ended up being mentally challenged and talked to a sock puppet the whole party. FML

#908452
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51712) - you deserved it (3246)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:37pm - misc - by NotRetarded (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over for not having my car inspection up to date. I had my car inspected two weeks earlier. Since I'm at college my sticker was mailed to my home. My mother didn't want to pay the 42cent postage so now I have to pay $250.00 because my mother is cheap. FML

#902369
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54971) - you deserved it (3561)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:39pm - money - by Stickerless (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was an accident. FML

#878620
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48850) - you deserved it (3810)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:35pm - misc - by lyssanthamum - United States (New York)



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