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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, while cleaning out a closet with my mother, I found a wish list from when I was five. On that list, I wished my parents would divorce. Not only did that seriously hurt my mom, but now she thinks I'm the devil because my wish came true. FML

#2165517
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (11461)

On 05/21/2009 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

#2123826
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (57957)

On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom and my step dad decided they're getting a divorce. They've been married for 2 weeks and I paid for a quarter of the wedding. FML

#2122739
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65162) - you deserved it (5846)

On 05/20/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by disaster... (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to remove a temporary tattoo my friend put on my cheek. When warm water and soap didn't work, I tried something else. Just so you know, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers do not, in fact, work by magic. Tell that to the massive chemical burn covering half my face. FML

#2076709
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15522) - you deserved it (86965)

On 05/19/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by morningeyes (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

#2057571
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42622) - you deserved it (3107)

On 05/18/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by trgtyo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on my afternoon stroll to my local park. As I reached the park a little boy was peeing in the bushes nearby. His mother called. As I walked by, he turned, still peeing, right to me. He ended up peeing on the front of my pants and on my shoes. My house is 2 miles away from the park. FML

#2036328
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (2760)

On 05/17/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by gameguy3424 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
641 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27773) - you deserved it (275320)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

#1976392
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45114) - you deserved it (8829)

On 05/16/2009 at 11:20am - misc - by bosssssssss765432 - United States (New York)

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

#1972272
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59062) - you deserved it (23443)

On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out on a first date with a cute guy. Turns out we won't be going on a date again because I didn't know the difference between "Star Wars" and "Star Trek." FML

#1968718
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (64866)

On 05/15/2009 at 5:17pm - love - by not4geeks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my parents I wanted them to meet my new partner. My mom went into a rant about how she had known I was gay for a while and asked how I was going to tell my husband. I am straight, madly in love with my husband, and was referring to my business partner. FML

Today, I was accepted to Harvard's law program. Prestigious right? After hearing the good news the only thing my parents talked about over dinner was who they wanted to win American Idol: Adam, Kris or Danny. FML

#1916731
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52655) - you deserved it (4601)

On 05/13/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by NoComparison (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I got it from playing too much World of Warcraft. I got a disease in real life by living in a virtual world. FML

#1879175
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (140160)

On 05/12/2009 at 6:05pm - health - by Loser (man) - United States (New York)



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