Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102675) - you deserved it (17442)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was presenting a powerpoint. As I plugged in the cord that connected my computer to the projector, I had forgotten what my boyfriend had set my desktop picture to the night before. I opened my laptop and projected on the wall was me nude. I go to Catholic school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18106) - you deserved it (47817)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by :D (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26588) - you deserved it (6744)
On 02/23/2009 at 9:16am - work - by Debbie (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23429) - you deserved it (67212)
On 02/21/2009 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by svet (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80491) - you deserved it (5445)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59770) - you deserved it (9229)
On 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by acw2110 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39237) - you deserved it (2886)
On 02/20/2009 at 11:16am - love - by darn it. (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, they were handing out free razors in the mall. I went up to get my free sample, but the woman just smiled and said, "Sorry honey, they're sharp, and not for children." I'm 25. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34570) - you deserved it (1809)
On 02/20/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42846) - you deserved it (3968)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by dpl (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my sister asked if she could look through my closet to find something to wear. She is 6 months pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36071) - you deserved it (7110)
On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, in school my shoulder was killing me from a softball injury. I went to the nurse's office and asked "Can I have some ice?" They responded with "Why, what happened to your face?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36861) - you deserved it (1910)
On 02/19/2009 at 2:09am - misc - by Offended (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (8648)
On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41138) - you deserved it (10083)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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