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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

#5640097
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (9012)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML

#5638225
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (7819)

On 10/04/2009 at 7:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35975) - you deserved it (14631)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

#5584861
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10722) - you deserved it (38742)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40791) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40089) - you deserved it (5485)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

#5486035
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49645) - you deserved it (5349)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

#5466683
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (3107)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML

#5463799
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (5202)

On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML

#5448757
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45110) - you deserved it (4210)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

#5441103
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14303) - you deserved it (31382)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by loveless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

#5399983
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8822) - you deserved it (41325)

On 09/21/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ScorpioQueen (woman) - United States (New York)



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