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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I went to the beach. I was in the ocean and I looked over my shoulder and saw a big black spot. Knowing that there were big crabs on the beach, I screamed. Everyone in the water heard including the lifeguards. It turns out it was just my shadow. FML

#3921202
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8531) - you deserved it (46585)

On 07/21/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by Thalassophobic (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

#3907328
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (3240)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:10pm - health - by KnuckleSandwich (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (17845)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, as a camp counselor, I was discussing how stupid the idea of santa is to a co-worker, and how every parent should tell the truth to their kids. The intercom microphone was on. I single handily told a group of 100 six year olds that santa was not real. FML

#3812177
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14068) - you deserved it (65090)

On 07/16/2009 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hit by a car. My sister ran to see if her phone I was carrying in my purse was okay. She screamed at me while I lay in the street because I was so dumb, and that I couldn't even watch for cars. Her screen was cracked. I had to call 911 for myself. FML

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#3752629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54406) - you deserved it (5803)

On 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by bellaboop1990 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

#3737947
368 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46992) - you deserved it (17368)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a CD off a man who always plays Spanish guitar in the subway. When I got to work and tried playing the CD, it was blank. I paid $15 for a blank CD. FML

#3701383
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34806) - you deserved it (19641)

On 07/12/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Raaaaaaarrrrrr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

#3669830
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57717) - you deserved it (4624)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I moved in with my brother to save on a swanky apartment. I was skeptical as to how this would work out as we fought a lot as kids. Our first big fight? Whether or not to keep his dorm-style futon complete with Return of the Jedi sheets. He's a 35-yr old physician; I'm a 28-yr old lawyer. FML

#3669559
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34648) - you deserved it (9985)

On 07/11/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by bdiddy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went with my sister to get our eyebrows waxed. I didn't think my eyebrows were that bad--and they weren't! When the guy waxed my eyebrows, he gestured my lips and said, "Moustache, too?" Mortified, I said, "No!" to which he replied, "Aw, someone no get kissy tonight." FML

#3658638
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40623) - you deserved it (9048)

On 07/11/2009 at 1:58am - misc - by RR (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML

#3655783
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6687) - you deserved it (50268)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Name (man) - United States (New York)



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