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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47365) - you deserved it (3585)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68551) - you deserved it (3636)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49473) - you deserved it (17249)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70257) - you deserved it (8190)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46009) - you deserved it (6467)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58254) - you deserved it (2789)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

#4468177
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (41329)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:49am - misc - by Bambi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

#4464455
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59897) - you deserved it (4033)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

#4454035
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (64637)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. After ringing the alarm bell consistantly for 10 minutes, I called someone I was staying with. She went down to the front desk and said that there were people stuck in the elevator. Front desk- "Is that what that is? I thought it was some kids messing around." FML

Today, I found out I need serious surgery on my right knee to remove a tumor growing underneath it. I will not be able to walk for 3 weeks, and the doctor told me to take off for 5 months from work just for full recovery. My father's response, "You'll do anything not to work." FML

Today, after going to the beach with my guyfriend, I thought I looked pretty good infront of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom". FML

#4405675
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (41231)

On 08/09/2009 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML

#4397401
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (7248)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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