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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight about a clogged toilet. He was yelling about not having enough money to buy a better plunger and so I stormed out to buy one myself. While pulling his truck into traffic, a car hit me causing $1000 in damage. FML

#7127845
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (9169)

On 01/03/2010 at 3:21pm - money - by brokeandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

#7125178
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10431) - you deserved it (34007)

On 01/03/2010 at 12:11pm - misc - by PWI_addict (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23699) - you deserved it (3601)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her clevage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

#7079219
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34580) - you deserved it (4532)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:12am - kids - by andy - United States (New York)

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38398) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41311) - you deserved it (4637)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

#7008039
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12777) - you deserved it (26633)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22649) - you deserved it (11383)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

#6991981
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20210) - you deserved it (5615)

On 12/28/2009 at 11:58am - intimacy - by disapointed girl - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10478) - you deserved it (36748)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

#6970939
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you deserved it (6453)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37658) - you deserved it (3132)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

#6863631
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31233) - you deserved it (2696)

On 12/21/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Agata (woman) - United States (New York)



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