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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

#4750882
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (1880)

On 08/23/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

#4737465
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11908) - you deserved it (33638)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Idiot (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents came into my room at 12:01 to surprise me. Do you know what fifteen year olds do at midnight? FML

#4734669
399 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43819) - you deserved it (22507)

On 08/22/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by urmommmm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#4728013
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38356) - you deserved it (5181)

On 08/22/2009 at 2:29am - kids - by NoCookForYou (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I listened to a voice mail from my mom about how she misses me and cant wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML

#4725507
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34533) - you deserved it (2440)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by taylor124 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

#4709917
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36862) - you deserved it (3225)

On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

#4707579
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32178) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

#4702717
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40631) - you deserved it (5845)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:06am - love - by tacoboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83637) - you deserved it (7273)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46489) - you deserved it (3510)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68323) - you deserved it (3620)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49337) - you deserved it (17207)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70102) - you deserved it (8172)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)



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