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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I asked my husband why he won't list me as his wife on Facebook. Apparently, it's because he doesn't want the high school friends he just reconnected with to know that he married "the biggest geek in the whole school." We went to the same high school. FML

#4709917
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36846) - you deserved it (3224)

On 08/21/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML

#4707579
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32165) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by ihatelongflights (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've had feelings for since I was 14 (I'm 22). I took her out to dinner, then to a movie that we both liked and had a few drinks afterwards. I thought it was going really well until I was driving her home and she asked to be dropped off at her boyfriend's house. FML

#4702717
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40601) - you deserved it (5842)

On 08/21/2009 at 4:06am - love - by tacoboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

#4679232
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83600) - you deserved it (7272)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML

#4678822
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46465) - you deserved it (3510)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68285) - you deserved it (3619)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49319) - you deserved it (17204)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70085) - you deserved it (8169)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML

#4604892
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45915) - you deserved it (6418)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by JayBausch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58061) - you deserved it (2777)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML

#4468177
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17280) - you deserved it (41212)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:49am - misc - by Bambi (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

#4464455
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59684) - you deserved it (4027)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:13am - animals - by jennabean (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

#4454035
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8868) - you deserved it (64437)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)



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