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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8157) - you deserved it (41875)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend of a woman who lives three floors down from me slashed her tires for breaking up with him. He also, for good measure, slashed the tires of the person parked to the left and right of her. I was parked to the right of her. FML

#5743419
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (1806)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by sofked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

#5680607
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14525) - you deserved it (62715)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by TatooFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML

#5680173
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22954) - you deserved it (2872)

On 10/06/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by Crappit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter was feeling sick. She threw up on the floor. As I was cleaning up her vomit, she threw up on my head. Twice. FML

#5679558
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42395) - you deserved it (4074)

On 10/06/2009 at 8:08am - kids - by laurwitharawr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, one of my best friends went into labor 14 days early. I'd told my boss previously about this and that I need to be there for my friend as she doesn't really have any family. My boss will not let me leave work to be there. Why? I didn't give enough notice. FML

#5660811
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36497) - you deserved it (2996)

On 10/05/2009 at 11:45am - kids - by musicalkitcat (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

#5640097
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45405) - you deserved it (8547)

On 10/04/2009 at 11:41am - health - by ew (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML

#5638225
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (7127)

On 10/04/2009 at 7:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33882) - you deserved it (14160)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

#5584861
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9355) - you deserved it (35324)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36130) - you deserved it (5089)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)



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