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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I started my job as a consultant at a shop that sells wedding dresses. My first client? The girl my ex-fiancé cheated on me with and left me for. FML

#7431975
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36543) - you deserved it (2112)

On 01/19/2010 at 1:44am - work - by StillHurt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

#7404915
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41052) - you deserved it (3815)

On 01/17/2010 at 7:32pm - kids - by Michele (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent the day studying with one of my classmates whom I've just met. While studying, she kept bragging about her boyfriend and decided to show me a picture of him. It was my boyfriend. FML

#7372755
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44120) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/16/2010 at 2:17am - misc - by shockedgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML

#7340967
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (3672)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML

#7336532
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (4563)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:45am - kids - by hair2daygone4ever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

#7306926
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45950) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

#7304423
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (3185)

On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

#7301581
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6316) - you deserved it (40780)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:05pm - misc - by Busted (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML

#7273590
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (10649)

On 01/11/2010 at 3:09am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

#7234315
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28980) - you deserved it (3285)

On 01/09/2010 at 11:11am - health - by Michelle (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband is completely convinced that his taking a massive dump after being constipated is exactly like the time I gave birth to our twins. FML

#7215962
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34474) - you deserved it (4313)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

#7180420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13094) - you deserved it (29172)

On 01/06/2010 at 11:44am - work - by noluckwhatsoever (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML

#7164815
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8452) - you deserved it (34641)

On 01/05/2010 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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