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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my boyfriend of three years who I helped through drug rehab and find employment in my office left me for someone else. His explanation was that now that his "head is not clouded with chemicals" and he "makes decent money", he wants to settle down with someone worthy of him. FML

#7858295
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38713) - you deserved it (3789)

On 02/03/2010 at 9:17pm - love - by dracer (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I was getting a divorce. My wife is leaving me for my brother, saying that now that he has money there is nothing that can stand in their way. I recently decided to send him money to help him get back on his feet. FML

#7708774
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42969) - you deserved it (2874)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:59pm - love - by hahahaha090114 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23326) - you deserved it (2739)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (5698)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was very windy and snowy and the neighborhoods garbage cans were blowing everywhere. I had already brought mine in and I saw my neighbor's being blown away. Thinking I'd be nice, I went out to pick it up. Just before I could however, the wind smashed it into me and I fell on the ice. FML

#7674410
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24423) - you deserved it (3040)

On 01/29/2010 at 1:59pm - misc - by Dana (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

#7669897
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (4733)

On 01/29/2010 at 9:14am - intimacy - by rejected (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

#7631314
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18631) - you deserved it (5150)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:00am - intimacy - by nick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

#7612223
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6551) - you deserved it (39475)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that if you slip on ice, imitating Mario from Super Mario Bros when he attempts to stop himself slipping, won't work in real life. I now have a broken nose, as well as a blood trail running from my driveway into my kitchen. FML

#7568710
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8783) - you deserved it (30629)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#7565931
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13051) - you deserved it (36438)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - love - by CivE (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that when you hit the neighbor's dog with your car, they might chase you a mile with a shotgun. FML

#7493759
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11118) - you deserved it (42305)

On 01/22/2010 at 3:14am - animals - by S.Bunny (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

#7450891
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29808) - you deserved it (6128)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:17am - intimacy - by ilovesocks (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41423) - you deserved it (14872)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)



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