Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32084) - you deserved it (13731)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

#5584861
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9306) - you deserved it (35158)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37259) - you deserved it (2692)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35969) - you deserved it (5074)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

#5486035
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45269) - you deserved it (4943)

On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, we got our progress reports. My physics teacher wrote that I don't participate in class. My mom got mad and grounded me before I could tell her that I raise my hand in class all the time but my teacher won't call on me cause he can't pronounce my name. FML

#5466683
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43639) - you deserved it (2822)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Non-active (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML

#5463799
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34899) - you deserved it (4855)

On 09/25/2009 at 9:09am - health - by boomstick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I missed my bus by a minute. I called up my step dad asking him if he can drive me because I had a test first period. After about calling him twenty times, and him not picking up, I see him drive by the bus stop pointing at me and laughing hysterically. FML

#5448757
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40874) - you deserved it (3823)

On 09/24/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by NotFunny (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

#5441103
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12202) - you deserved it (27452)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by loveless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

#5399983
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7498) - you deserved it (37538)

On 09/21/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ScorpioQueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML

#5315969
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (9408)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by sara (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to drink the most vile and disgusting medicinal treatments I could ever imagine. Then I had to drink it again when I threw up the first batch. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: