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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I arrived at work and was immediately given a disciplinary write-up for being two hours late for my shift. Apparently the manager had changed my schedule that morning and failed to tell me. FML

#6017534
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28484) - you deserved it (1620)

On 10/27/2009 at 12:04am - work - by hatemyjob (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after I had finished vacuuming, I ripped the cord out of the outlet and it hit me in the face cutting both my top and bottom lip. FML

#5980515
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9130) - you deserved it (30790)

On 10/24/2009 at 8:41pm - work - by Clutz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39937) - you deserved it (8088)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the driver side mirror of my car was smashed off and laying on the ground. On the window was a $75.00 ticket for improper equipment for not having a mirror. FML

#5923443
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28265) - you deserved it (1655)

On 10/21/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Timebaseboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss was angry at me because I had filed a complaint about him refusing to change our phone service to something more reliable. Later, a customer called him and said I had hung up on him. I got fired. I didn't hang up on the customer, the phone service just dropped the call. FML

#5914155
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36193) - you deserved it (2294)

On 10/20/2009 at 3:35pm - work - by ShayanFCB (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

#5897167
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (13769)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:16pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#5851325
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (3562)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by damnit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

#5832745
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19678) - you deserved it (3040)

On 10/14/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by newscomes (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while working as a plain clothes police officer, I witnessed a fight in a front yard. My partner and I intervened and clearly identified ourselves as police. Unfortunately, the two guys' mother didn't have her hearing aid in, and hit my arm with a baseball bat. FML

#5792064
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29730) - you deserved it (3896)

On 10/12/2009 at 4:38am - work - by Undercover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

#5773283
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (2855)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by PackingSpaceHeat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to see if electric dog collars work on human necks. They do. FML

#5769209
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7536) - you deserved it (107304)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:40am - health - by zappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8126) - you deserved it (41721)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the disgruntled ex-boyfriend of a woman who lives three floors down from me slashed her tires for breaking up with him. He also, for good measure, slashed the tires of the person parked to the left and right of her. I was parked to the right of her. FML

#5743419
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32735) - you deserved it (1797)

On 10/09/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by sofked (man) - United States (New York)



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