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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35242) - you deserved it (3433)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39230) - you deserved it (4442)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex asking if I would go out with him that night. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

#7008039
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12267) - you deserved it (25920)

On 12/29/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by SherryBaby (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up from a nap and thought I felt somebody's arm in my bed. I frantically start hitting it and start screaming. I soon realized it was my own arm. I had fallen asleep on it, and it was completely numb, I couldn't feel a thing. FML

#7004520
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (11102)

On 12/29/2009 at 12:11am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML

#6991981
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (5466)

On 12/28/2009 at 11:58am - intimacy - by disapointed girl - United States (New York)

Today, I tried to get my girlfriend of nine months to have oral sex with me. She was eating a hot dog. She then said, "If you ask me again, this is what I'll do to you." She then bit the hot dog in half. FML

#6989105
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9726) - you deserved it (34949)

On 12/28/2009 at 5:16am - intimacy - by Dontworryaboutit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

#6970939
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (6280)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:40am - misc - by kanenakid - United States (New York)

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

#6914931
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36736) - you deserved it (3068)

On 12/24/2009 at 1:09am - love - by Nemesis2747 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

#6863631
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30403) - you deserved it (2628)

On 12/21/2009 at 11:15am - love - by Agata (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a laptop so that I could have dirty video chats with my internet girlfriend. I got home only to find that the only place I can get a decent wifi signal is in front of my mom's room. FML

#6851938
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8073) - you deserved it (21177)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by thatguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9328) - you deserved it (49300)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to a quite frigid room, which wasn't out of the ordinary since my building's heat is broken. But I realized that the extra cold I was feeling was due to the snow piled up on my bed. It had snowed 20 inches last night. My mom had apparently opened my window. FML

#6848159
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31177) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by Lapis (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML

#6805892
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34022) - you deserved it (2047)

On 12/18/2009 at 1:52am - misc - by Theo (man) - United States (New York)



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