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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML

#6534520
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (5594)

On 11/30/2009 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my very traditional parents told me that I should start a savings account for my marriage. I told them that I wouldn't get married until much later because I don't even have a boyfriend yet. They said, "Don't worry we already found a boy for you." FML

#6527695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33572) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML

#6507610
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (4048)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

#6459212
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (7594)

On 11/26/2009 at 5:18am - love - by amy1023 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23921) - you deserved it (4559)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

#6422671
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38301) - you deserved it (3597)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm - love - by TheGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

#6418903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8094) - you deserved it (34363)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

#6396436
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (6277)

On 11/21/2009 at 10:25pm - animals - by gbabyy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

#6391175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31393) - you deserved it (25190)

On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

#6366811
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31135) - you deserved it (3985)

On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)

Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

#6362142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40546) - you deserved it (2834)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by screwed - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37196) - you deserved it (2660)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)



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