Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (4556)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML

#6422671
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37213) - you deserved it (3505)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:11pm - love - by TheGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

#6418903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8086) - you deserved it (34337)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

#6396436
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27538) - you deserved it (6275)

On 11/21/2009 at 10:25pm - animals - by gbabyy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

#6391175
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33086) - you deserved it (25179)

On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML

#6366811
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31096) - you deserved it (3981)

On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)

Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down by $64,000. FML

#6362142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40507) - you deserved it (2834)

On 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by screwed - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML

#6354793
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37159) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, me, a coworker, and my manager were looking at random advertisements. One ad was a picture of three fishes. My coworker named the three fishes what I thought were completely random names. I said "those are stupid names." Turns out those are my manager's kid's names. FML

#6348891
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7507) - you deserved it (27191)

On 11/17/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a card from the jewelry store thanking me for purchasing an engagement ring a year ago and wishing me and my fiancée a long and everlasting marriage. Too bad my fiancée took off with the pizza delivery boy 6 months ago. FML

#6325970
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32527) - you deserved it (2004)

On 11/16/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by figures (man) - United States (New York)

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42034) - you deserved it (3011)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

#6318323
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9795) - you deserved it (27318)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:00pm - health - by proteinboy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked a girl I like out. She ended up having an asthma attack because she was laughing so hard. I guess that's a no. FML

#6300869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38619) - you deserved it (2588)

On 11/14/2009 at 1:38pm - love - by asthma_attacker (man) - United States (New York)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: