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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my mom announced to everyone that she wants at least ten grandchildren. I'm an only child. FML

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

#21047196
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36453) - you deserved it (12210)

On 02/01/2014 at 1:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47664) - you deserved it (21019)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49002) - you deserved it (3896)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

#21043075
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40836) - you deserved it (3808)

On 01/28/2014 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

#21041865
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41410) - you deserved it (4758)

On 01/27/2014 at 2:26pm - love - by love you too mommy - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43742) - you deserved it (6732)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44666) - you deserved it (4346)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

#21024776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37662) - you deserved it (8272)

On 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by -_-" (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

#21023495
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47654) - you deserved it (4513)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:47am - misc - by wtf - United States (New York)

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36861) - you deserved it (5727)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went skiing. On the first run of the day, a little girl came out of nowhere and crashed into me. I was fine, but she was hurt, so I called the ski patrol. She told him that I deliberately hit her, and got me kicked out. I was there for 10 minutes. I paid for all day. FML

#21010566
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44556) - you deserved it (3079)

On 12/30/2013 at 3:28pm - health - by bad luck skier - United States (New York)

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

#21004875
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37870) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/25/2013 at 12:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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