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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40648) - you deserved it (6527)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, my allergies are so bad that it's affected the way my voice sounds. It's so bad my mom has taken to calling me Aflac because I sound like the duck in the commercials. FML

#21153823
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38028) - you deserved it (3981)

On 05/27/2014 at 8:13pm - health - by cc13799 - United States (New York)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46991) - you deserved it (4029)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38350) - you deserved it (5660)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52037) - you deserved it (19030)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft, relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot, and it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleaned to the sound of bullets going off. FML

#21131626
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38766) - you deserved it (4262)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:51pm - health - by randomusername99 - United States (New York)

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

#21127804
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36799) - you deserved it (4363)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:59am - misc - by sadSarah - United States (New York)

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

#21126339
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43008) - you deserved it (4569)

On 04/29/2014 at 3:13pm - misc - by have it your way - United States (New York)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from a girl I've had a crush on for a while. As I was about to accept it, it vanished. She explained later that she clicked on my name by accident, and didn't actually want to be friends at all. FML

#21121713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44435) - you deserved it (3564)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML

#21111156
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (8467)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:07pm - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

#21110214
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33811) - you deserved it (5223)

On 04/11/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by Gomer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

#21107042
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38058) - you deserved it (4214)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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