FMLs submitted from New York

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper. I had to reach into my small trash can and use soiled toilet paper to clean myself. When I went to flush the toilet, I noticed three unused rolls of toilet paper sitting on the counter. FML

by calobrisi / 10/15/2013 at 3:34pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

by collegegrad / 10/15/2013 at 11:51am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, my brother finally informed me that our shower head has an option to make the water only come out of the detachable part. My left leg's been in a cast for 4 months, and the whole time I've had to shower sitting backwards with my leg sticking out the door. He knew. FML

by Ixiion / 10/09/2013 at 1:26pm / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

by Allycat / 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

by loserllamalick / 10/07/2013 at 10:32am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

by WhyMe6495 / 10/06/2013 at 6:28pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

by BasketGhost / 10/02/2013 at 2:36am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

by mandm / 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

by zachadams / 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm / United States (New York) / Kids