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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my dad found a couple of coins on the floor next to my desk, and gave me a lecture about how money doesn't grow on trees and how irresponsible I am when it comes to money. They were Chuck E. Cheese tokens. FML

#19585247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19853) - you deserved it (2206)

On 05/07/2012 at 12:12am - money - by rofindie (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my underwear off, she looked at my penis, snorted, and covered her mouth. She claimed that her "allergies" were flaring and we have to wait until they clear up. FML

#19558140
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30455) - you deserved it (3396)

On 05/01/2012 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by rolyat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was sent to a customer's house to switch out a washing machine. My boss had assured me that everything I'd need was already in the truck. Halfway there, I ran out of gas and I realized I didn't have the gas card. My boss says it's my fault. FML

#19543388
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (6653)

On 04/28/2012 at 5:21pm - work - by wowzers0889 - United States (New York)

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18232) - you deserved it (3807)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML

#19488573
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18494) - you deserved it (2001)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:49am - work - by Disgruntled (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19203) - you deserved it (3295)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

#19391692
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (2914)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML

#19378087
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16200) - you deserved it (9211)

On 03/30/2012 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

#19328317
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (4147)

On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

#19320303
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (1965)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)



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