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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18438) - you deserved it (7040)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

#18943395
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

#18896901
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14280) - you deserved it (27028)

On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

#18876048
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32921) - you deserved it (1937)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:09am - kids - by thosedamnkids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

#18869027
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (2697)

On 01/21/2012 at 8:25am - love - by addicted2v - United States (New York)

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

#18864677
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23849) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/20/2012 at 7:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML

#18799303
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (49618)

On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent five dollars on a virtual cat. FML

Today, I went snowboarding for the first time. I was so scared I passed out. I was only on the kiddy hill. FML

#18741801
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17758) - you deserved it (9172)

On 01/08/2012 at 12:38am - misc - by scardeycat13 - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

#18695783
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18006) - you deserved it (7794)

On 01/03/2012 at 9:57am - health - by fatandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

#18674490
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9719) - you deserved it (27063)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent 4 hours cleaning my apartment. 2 minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

#18669836
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (2857)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:41am - love - by upsetandannoyed - United States (New York)

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

#18643236
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26670) - you deserved it (4835)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)



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