Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML

#19925066
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14483) - you deserved it (32819)

On 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm - money - by Ashley - United States (New York)

Today, while looking through pictures of my boyfriend and me on Facebook, I noticed that in practically every single one featuring my best friend, his eyes are directed down her shirt. FML

#19905936
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25040) - you deserved it (3347)

On 07/07/2012 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to my drunk great grandfather peeing on my cat and thinking it was absolutely hysterical. This isn't the first time and he just moved in with me for the next six weeks. FML

#19894625
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19630) - you deserved it (1827)

On 07/05/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while walking around my college campus, I passed by a dorm where a drunk guy was peeing out one of the top floor windows while his drunk friends cheered him on. That guy is my boyfriend. Lucky me. FML

#19883024
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19139) - you deserved it (6079)

On 07/02/2012 at 9:53pm - misc - by 21! (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML

#19881608
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (4919)

On 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by nobrony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

#19869373
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23193) - you deserved it (3104)

On 06/30/2012 at 1:08am - work - by John - United States (New York)

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

#19861588
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28912) - you deserved it (1798)

On 06/28/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

#19826088
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6254) - you deserved it (32021)

On 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm - love - by a stupid jackass (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (3390)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I am exhausted and can barely move after being up all night taking care of my drunk and vomiting husband. He, on the other hand, feels much better and is bounding with energy. FML

#19800781
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20282) - you deserved it (2612)

On 06/17/2012 at 8:34am - health - by Shenza - United States (New York)

Today, I was out to coffee with an extremely attractive friend. A crazy man came up to the window we were facing. He took one look at her, then turned to me with a big, congratulatory smile, flashing me a thumbs-up. Then he turned to her, frowned disappointedly and gave a thumbs-down. FML

#19785807
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22321) - you deserved it (2000)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by offended (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40822) - you deserved it (3870)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: