FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I sent my friend a snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

by pimplesapparently / 02/18/2016 at 3:17pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I braved a snowstorm to go into work. An hour later, my boss texted me that they were closing. I was stuck on the road, unable to go home for another 2 hours. FML

Today, my boss gave me some mentorship. She told me, "You need to learn to let people do things for you. Until then, I'm going to micromanage your project because I want it done my way." FML

by BlueSuit / 02/14/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

Today, my girlfriend lost one of her rings. I found this out as I overheard her gushing to her friend about how I must have borrowed it to find out what her ring size is. I have zero interest whatsoever in the sick and utterly immoral institution of marriage. FML

by ALL PRAISE TO THE NIGHT MOTHER / 01/29/2016 at 4:19pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, after weeks of debating with myself, I finally got the courage to ask out my best friend of 9 years. She turned me down, saying that dating me would be like adopting a puppy, and she doesn't want that kind of responsibility. FML

by adoptablepuppy / 01/28/2016 at 8:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer scared me for the sole purpose of watching my breasts jiggle when I jumped in surprise. I know because his head moved as they did, and he said, "Nice." before walking away. FML

by NotYourToy / 01/27/2016 at 2:59am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I absentmindedly smiled and told my grandfather to "have fun" before closing the door behind him. He was leaving to go to his chemotherapy session for lung cancer. FML

by Sunflora219 / 01/21/2016 at 9:34am / United States (New York) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML

by NeedsANewApartment / 01/13/2016 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

 Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

by JoseIsAdork / 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my crush of a few years likes me. How? Her boyfriend told me, followed by a punch in the face. FML

by anon / 01/11/2016 at 12:21pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML

by Anonymous / 01/08/2016 at 4:57pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2015 at 1:15pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous