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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I was talking with my mom about getting the my school photos retouched. I believe her exact words were, "They'll take one look at you, and charge me triple." FML

#17407714
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (3089)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:12pm - misc - by yupppp (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

#17348241
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24655) - you deserved it (3570)

On 08/02/2011 at 9:47pm - work - by t2t2sync - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43423) - you deserved it (7603)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

#17334083
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (2283)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:29pm - misc - by Emma - United States (New York)

Today, I was feeling a little naughty, so I put on a sexy outfit, laid down on the hood of my boyfriend's car, and waited for him to find me. When he came into the garage and saw me, he freaked out and bitched at me, because I "could have dented the chassis". FML

#17322871
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (12854)

On 07/31/2011 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by username (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that the guy I've been sending anonymous, dirty emails to knows who I am. My signature, which includes my full name, was automatically added to the end of every email. FML

#17221822
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7415) - you deserved it (56998)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

#17211099
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30822) - you deserved it (2777)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by oliverP123 - United States (New York)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35994) - you deserved it (5808)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

#17152929
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17967) - you deserved it (6035)

On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant, where the chefs cook the food right in front of you. Our chef tossed an egg in the air, but sadly didn't catch it. Don't worry though, my hair got it instead. FML

#17136219
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24489) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:24pm - misc - by KatrinaKitten - United States (New York)

Today, a total stranger on the bus called me hideous and threw a soda in my face. I only asked him if the seat next to him was taken. FML

#17048924
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/10/2011 at 2:03am - misc - by ugly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34426) - you deserved it (4789)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30394) - you deserved it (3381)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)



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