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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21400) - you deserved it (1483)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML

#20075636
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7399) - you deserved it (40324)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24803) - you deserved it (2773)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13350) - you deserved it (28789)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20474) - you deserved it (3998)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML

#20057380
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27476) - you deserved it (1708)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Becoming a commuter. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

#20055368
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27010) - you deserved it (5016)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML

#20049241
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (1685)

On 08/30/2012 at 8:58am - misc - by Sarah - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that several thousand people in my state got tickets this month for driving and talking on the phone. My mom called to tell me this while I was driving. I'm now part of that statistic. Thanks, mom. FML

#20046150
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9352) - you deserved it (31804)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by ticketed - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

#20032351
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (4185)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:02pm - kids - by Demetria (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at age eighteen, I finished moving out of my parents' house and into my own. The only person to even remotely give a shit was my sister, and that was only because I was taking the cat with me. FML

#20026624
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19022) - you deserved it (1902)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:55pm - misc - by CollegeBound (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML

#20022524
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (7877)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

#20011258
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18938) - you deserved it (1536)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:51am - health - by MsConfusedd - United States (New York)



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