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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42842) - you deserved it (2433)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23828) - you deserved it (3853)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML

#20427233
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31668) - you deserved it (6356)

On 12/28/2012 at 2:03am - kids - by UngratefulBrat - United States (New York)

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (2021)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28443) - you deserved it (4060)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (3654)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML

#20184990
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (1495)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30am - health - by Atletic - United States (New York)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17203) - you deserved it (2878)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

#20171052
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11556) - you deserved it (27405)

On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29051) - you deserved it (1629)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

#20167793
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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