Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (1948)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23791) - you deserved it (1886)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

#20096947
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15246) - you deserved it (4285)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23552) - you deserved it (6275)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31471) - you deserved it (4999)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, an incredibly rude woman came in for a hairdressing appointment. I had to put up with being yelled at and called a "clumsy bitch," a "pleb," and other insults for almost half an hour. When I finally managed to finish her hair, instead of tipping me, she spat at my feet and stormed out. FML

#20093857
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (1895)

On 09/29/2012 at 4:34pm - misc - by scumdresser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, I got sent to the principal's office because my Dad decided that instead of signing his name, he would sign, "Ms. Bigtits", because he wanted to make sure the teachers were paying attention to what their students handed in. FML

#20088535
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (1479)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:20pm - misc - by PerpetuallyHappy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML

#20075636
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7392) - you deserved it (40280)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

#20065430
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24759) - you deserved it (2770)

On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13325) - you deserved it (28763)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my first day back at school. My social anxiety is so bad that I couldn't even raise my hand to use the bathroom because I didn't want people to look at me. FML

#20057693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (3900)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:55pm - health - by freakingout (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML

#20057380
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27442) - you deserved it (1706)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Becoming a commuter. (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: