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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I was sent to a customer's house to switch out a washing machine. My boss had assured me that everything I'd need was already in the truck. Halfway there, I ran out of gas and I realized I didn't have the gas card. My boss says it's my fault. FML

#19543388
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13174) - you deserved it (4918)

On 04/28/2012 at 5:21pm - work - by wowzers0889 - United States (New York)

Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not by any sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML

#19535825
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16930) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/27/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Bullocks (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML

Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML

#19488573
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17138) - you deserved it (1867)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:49am - work - by Disgruntled (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was getting out of the shower, I saw a spider climb into the ceiling vent. Wanting it to come out so I could kill it, I turned on the fan. It came out, along with a dozen of its friends. FML

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17629) - you deserved it (3140)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

#19391692
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22676) - you deserved it (2731)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was holding our weekly poker game with a few work buddies. My psychotic, live-in mother-in-law wasted no time jumping into the game, cheating me out of $150, my new wristwatch, and what little pride I had left. FML

#19378087
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13078) - you deserved it (8475)

On 03/30/2012 at 7:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

#19328317
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20463) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

#19320303
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (1762)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

#19277499
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8274) - you deserved it (50918)

On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (2662)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

#19249141
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21745) - you deserved it (5727)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:00am - intimacy - by socially awkward - United States (New York)



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