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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML

#17777844
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18058) - you deserved it (2675)

On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

#17766794
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21814) - you deserved it (2086)

On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

#17754607
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20932) - you deserved it (2263)

On 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm - work - by MrTandy - United States (New York)

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

#17729404
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (2600)

On 09/12/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by siikman313 - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that the building I just moved into contains both a drummer and an opera singer. Both are very dedicated to their craft and practice frequently. FML

#17728385
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (2209)

On 09/12/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by OperaLover (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 23 year old boyfriend of 2 years was forced to dump me, over the phone, by his mother. FML

#17726381
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25855) - you deserved it (2027)

On 09/12/2011 at 4:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11926) - you deserved it (35840)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (2850)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

#17670632
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (7074)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33273) - you deserved it (5030)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14289) - you deserved it (2863)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I lost power. That didn't stop my house alarm from running on battery, loudly informing me in a British accent, "AC power disconnected. BEEP. AC power disconnected. BEEP." It's been going on for 5 hours and the battery takes a special screwdriver to remove. One we don't have. FML

#17632771
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17717) - you deserved it (2669)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:50pm - misc - by Beepbeepbeep (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25050) - you deserved it (2204)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)



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