Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42779) - you deserved it (6047)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28668) - you deserved it (18159)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I came back home to find that my house had been robbed, one week after my neighbors. I was walking around my neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious, and discovered that my neighbors had put up a sign, reading: "Rob the neighbors, THEY don't have a security system." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25787) - you deserved it (1967)
On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (8372)
On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (1533)
On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (1439)
On 09/28/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by JubileeBee (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19520) - you deserved it (2068)
On 09/25/2011 at 12:17am - work - by ouch. (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (2299)
On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (2389)
On 09/24/2011 at 1:20am - love - by astocks - United States (New York)
Today, I called in sick to work for a second day. After months of my boss trying to get me sacked by spreading vicious rumors about me, taunting me into retaliating, and generally making my life a living hell, he finally got his chance. He sent me a text saying, "yeh dont bother son ure fuckin fired." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22150) - you deserved it (2213)
On 09/23/2011 at 10:48am - work - by sick of life - United States (New York)
Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16748) - you deserved it (1266)
On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)
Today, while I was working at the golf course, two kids stole a golf cart and pulled a snowboard behind it. When I tried to stop them, they ran me over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18055) - you deserved it (2675)
On 09/19/2011 at 1:09am - work - by Branman2480 - United States (New York)
Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21808) - you deserved it (2085)
On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
