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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML

#20196308
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (3861)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)

Today, my science class found out that I have OCD and that one of my rituals is to cough when others cough. This is going to be a long year. FML

#20191703
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23192) - you deserved it (3632)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:09pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I have three cracked ribs. I have also, for the first time in my life, developed a case of the hiccups that simply will NOT go away. It's been hours. FML

#20184990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (1383)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30am - health - by Atletic - United States (New York)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16496) - you deserved it (2685)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, this guy I've been dating for a few months freaked out and called his mom crying, because I told him I might be pregnant with his baby. He is 27. I didn't even take a pregnancy test yet. FML

#20171052
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10920) - you deserved it (26319)

On 11/20/2012 at 2:45pm - misc - by babyblues (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

#20168309
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27471) - you deserved it (1552)

On 11/18/2012 at 4:22pm - kids - by WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after I spent two hours trying to teach my girlfriend to play sudoku, she broke up with me, tearfully claiming that I'd made up a fake, imaginary game to make her feel stupid. FML

#20167793
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (3144)

On 11/18/2012 at 7:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21534) - you deserved it (1541)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

#20159578
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18422) - you deserved it (5777)

On 11/11/2012 at 9:16pm - love - by x (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

#20152648
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13453) - you deserved it (21683)

On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

#20145633
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (3086)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32514) - you deserved it (2301)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)



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