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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

#20641701
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23575) - you deserved it (35345)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:41pm - misc - by Fatty Fatty Fatso (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML

#20640984
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51882) - you deserved it (4299)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by immovingout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

#20634623
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20461) - you deserved it (69333)

On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction. Turns out, I'm highly allergic to cherry blossoms. My wife and I just bought a house and moved into a new neighborhood. Almost every block in this neighborhood, including my own, has rows and rows of cherry blossom trees. FML

#20628272
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43022) - you deserved it (3186)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:10pm - health - by verycherryfucked (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML

#20609675
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54173) - you deserved it (3945)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)

Today, I told the guy I've liked since we were children that I'm madly in love with him. He replied with, "Aw, I love you too, as a sister." I was speechless. He patted me on the back and said, "Better luck next time." FML

#20603007
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51559) - you deserved it (5968)

On 04/18/2013 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42484) - you deserved it (3716)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I sat on an unopened folding chair to avoid the effort of opening it up. FML

#20587700
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15155) - you deserved it (95804)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by mets300 - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML

#20585994
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20134) - you deserved it (74496)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39672) - you deserved it (14954)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46310) - you deserved it (7980)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35488) - you deserved it (9124)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML



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