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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30998) - you deserved it (5641)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (6552)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10366) - you deserved it (34145)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
172 comments

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

#20496887
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27607) - you deserved it (5124)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20639) - you deserved it (38095)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (4338)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (8947)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (2795)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30513) - you deserved it (2468)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42512) - you deserved it (4838)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML

#20474869
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34497) - you deserved it (3956)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:44pm - love - by Stickysituation - United States (New York)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41894) - you deserved it (4274)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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