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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML

#18502844
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (2063)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:33pm - work - by microtech - United States (New York)

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25466) - you deserved it (1526)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

#18446136
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (3024)

On 12/06/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

#18445536
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (1933)

On 12/06/2011 at 4:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27010) - you deserved it (2017)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

#18442562
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (5675)

On 12/06/2011 at 2:03am - money - by BrokeandDesperate (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML

#18411297
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19569) - you deserved it (2588)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

#18409440
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20712) - you deserved it (1744)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was fired. For "lack of attention to details", specifically spelling errors. My now ex-boss misspelled the name of his own company on my severance agreement. FML

#18403408
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19272) - you deserved it (2032)

On 12/01/2011 at 1:55pm - work - by JadeC - United States (New York)

Today, I got a round brush stuck in my hair so badly that I couldn't get it out for 45 minutes, and had a panic attack. I had to drive through town with a brush dangling from my head, to the hair salon, and listen to them laugh while they got it out. FML

#18394314
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16227) - you deserved it (6210)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:25pm - misc - by maggie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at work, an overweight man riding an electric cart started peeing all around the store. I had to clean it up. FML

#18381890
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (1410)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:34am - work - by kait - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML

#18381687
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22134) - you deserved it (2276)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by reallyupset (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17131) - you deserved it (1494)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)



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