Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New York

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36769) - you deserved it (3233)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47714) - you deserved it (5006)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49162) - you deserved it (17738)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, I finally password-protected my phone, to protect it from my friends' favorite game: stealing it and sending stupid texts, and hijacking my Facebook. They quickly found a new game. My phone is now locked for 24 hours due to too many attempts to guess the password. FML

#20970108
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (6740)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

#20968871
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45254) - you deserved it (3514)

On 11/24/2013 at 11:01am - love - by fries - United States (New York)

Today, as a part of my autobiography project for school, I needed to have 2 friends and 2 family members each write me a letter. I ended up having to forge 3 letters. FML

#20964402
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40441) - you deserved it (3386)

On 11/20/2013 at 10:28am - misc - by me - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (66958)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34732) - you deserved it (3104)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35825) - you deserved it (3194)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28315) - you deserved it (55754)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (14264)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

#20929195
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52626) - you deserved it (8934)

On 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML

#20927673
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41022) - you deserved it (5508)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: