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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (14901)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

#20576602
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45008) - you deserved it (7836)

On 04/05/2013 at 8:13pm - kids - by easteryegg (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML

#20576079
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35311) - you deserved it (9100)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:34pm - money - by Z'ev - United States (New York)

Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36067) - you deserved it (3029)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32435) - you deserved it (5262)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

#20563612
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33246) - you deserved it (2435)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:52am - health - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, after getting a new haircut, I decided to take a few photos. I set up my iPhone in my room and began posing. It wasn't until numerous shots later that I realized my phone had posted every picture to Facebook, and they were all over everyone's newsfeed. FML

#20561054
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16110) - you deserved it (40975)

On 03/26/2013 at 2:31pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49766) - you deserved it (3013)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32976) - you deserved it (26754)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, I attended the reading of my grandfather's will. I didn't expect to receive anything, since his side of the family had always ostracized me for being born out of wedlock. I did get something: $3,500, on the binding condition that I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy. FML

#20543737
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34564) - you deserved it (2546)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15255) - you deserved it (39093)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6904) - you deserved it (45269)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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