Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20873) - you deserved it (1390)
On 03/21/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6894) - you deserved it (38197)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19065) - you deserved it (2486)
On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (5653)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:00am - intimacy - by socially awkward - United States (New York)
Today, I went swimming in a pond. I came out covered in leeches. Terrified, I screamed, flailed about and cried out for help until half a dozen people ran over. One of them was kind enough to point out that those leeches I was so afraid of were actually patches of mud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5753) - you deserved it (18214)
On 03/05/2012 at 8:36pm - misc - by asdfBUTT (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16447) - you deserved it (12790)
On 03/01/2012 at 6:35am - intimacy - by ShitFaced (man) - United States (New York)
Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7427) - you deserved it (21719)
On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by itshilarious - United States (New York)
Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (3654)
On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7286) - you deserved it (38900)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17038) - you deserved it (4921)
On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (2731)
On 02/23/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I walked into the house only to be greeted by the strongest smell of dung. I asked my mom about it, and it turns out she's been airing these strange herbs throughout the house, most of which are in my bedroom. She won't let me open the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13853) - you deserved it (1140)
On 02/07/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by whyme (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (2097)
On 02/05/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by dadadoo - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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