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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42535) - you deserved it (5853)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44025) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34086) - you deserved it (4292)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42133) - you deserved it (9740)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40043) - you deserved it (3115)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41754) - you deserved it (6711)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38878) - you deserved it (2586)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, my new creative writing teacher informed the class that we should consult him before writing anything "dark or disturbing." I only took the class because my therapist recommended that I join the class so I could freely express my darker thoughts without her help or a fear of being judged. FML

#20866346
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35190) - you deserved it (2620)

On 09/03/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by depressed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36952) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that I'm the creepy uncle of the family. FML

#20860109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39786) - you deserved it (13988)

On 08/30/2013 at 8:33am - misc - by charlieg9 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (39432)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

#20859193
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42994) - you deserved it (3300)

On 08/29/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by grossedout (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was fired when a customer called corporate, saying I was unprofessional and rude. The "customer" in question was my little sister, who I would not let buy beer with a fake ID. FML



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