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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (54905)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38315) - you deserved it (4531)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML

#21180967
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50504) - you deserved it (6732)

On 06/19/2014 at 6:26pm - love - by forever alone - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that the guy who asked me out only did so because he thought I "looked rich." He broke everything off once he found out I live in a one-bedroom apartment and drive a 14-year old Volvo. FML

#21174325
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (4170)

On 06/14/2014 at 11:28am - love - by me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40104) - you deserved it (4274)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49235) - you deserved it (8214)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, after having asked me out on Monday, the guy I like angrily cancelled our date because I "hadn't bothered" even talking to him for "several days". One day. You didn't hear from me on Monday. It's now Tuesday. That's one day, dick. FML

#21169704
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45829) - you deserved it (6147)

On 06/10/2014 at 2:29pm - love - by fartbucket51995129565 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

#21165275
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48049) - you deserved it (3903)

On 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm - health - by wo-ow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (6517)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, my allergies are so bad that it's affected the way my voice sounds. It's so bad my mom has taken to calling me Aflac because I sound like the duck in the commercials. FML

#21153823
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37966) - you deserved it (3973)

On 05/27/2014 at 8:13pm - health - by cc13799 - United States (New York)

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

#21147237
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (4024)

On 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I am afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML

#21133607
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37798) - you deserved it (5580)

On 05/07/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by BaggedDown (man) - United States (New York)



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