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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my dad was looking for a flashlight in my bedroom. He trashed the place, which I'd just cleaned. Turns out the flashlight was in his bedroom. Then I got a 10 minute lecture on how I was such a slob and I should take more care of my bedroom. FML

#21338508
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29690) - you deserved it (1957)

On 01/16/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by moonchic - United States (New York)

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (11501)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (5819)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I got a yeast infection, caused by the antibiotics for my UTI. I got the UTI after having sex for the first time in a year. A couple of minutes of sex have ruined my health. FML

#21334755
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26474) - you deserved it (3835)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by so much for romance - United States (New York)

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

#21328962
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27370) - you deserved it (3759)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by mrwilly (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my proposal to my girlfriend was supposed to be exactly when the ball dropped at midnight. Unfortunately my mother called her at 11:55pm to ask her if she liked the ring. FML

#21328278
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40373) - you deserved it (3199)

On 01/01/2015 at 12:47am - love - by Proposal Fail - United States (New York)

Today, I had to deal with numerous complaints about an employee washing their genitals in the communal bathroom sink. Nothing in the HR manual prepared me for this. FML

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

#21324616
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25979) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/26/2014 at 9:58am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

#21320583
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29458) - you deserved it (2054)

On 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by cantunhear - United States (New York)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41534) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32446) - you deserved it (3266)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)

Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML

#21312880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (7011)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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