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FMLs submitted from New York

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

#21320583
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11794) - you deserved it (819)

On 12/19/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by cantunhear - United States (New York)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38732) - you deserved it (2183)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31400) - you deserved it (3251)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)

Today, I felt bad about rarely complimenting my mom about her cooking, so during dinner, I raved about her incredible, creamy, macaroni and cheese. It came from a box. FML

#21312880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (6989)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, at the fast food joint I work at, I had to climb into the children's play area and chase out two horny teens who thought it was an appropriate place to stick their hands down each other's pants and fool around. I don't get paid enough for this shit. FML

Today, I was really excited to get a new bank account in my name. My parents wanted me to have it so they could transfer money from mine to theirs and vice versa. What excited me less was my father drunkenly accessing it and taking all my cash. FML

#21305033
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30265) - you deserved it (3688)

On 11/24/2014 at 7:40am - money - by ugh - United States (New York)

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32024) - you deserved it (3538)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29566) - you deserved it (13354)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)

Today, my phone died while I was on the phone with my girlfriend. When I finally got a charger, I saw a text message from her. I'm now single. FML

#21292826
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30316) - you deserved it (2578)

On 11/05/2014 at 5:21pm - love - by thedudeman14 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

#21290447
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (9248)

On 11/02/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25576) - you deserved it (2393)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32726) - you deserved it (5445)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31958) - you deserved it (3784)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)



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