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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I woke up at 6am and went into the kitchen, where I saw a mouse in front of the fridge. Petrified, I stood in the doorway shooing it for a few minutes. My husband then walked into the kitchen, picked up the "mouse", and threw it in the bin. It was a used tea bag. FML

#20823044
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37186) - you deserved it (17868)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01am - animals - by Tea_baggins (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

#20820030
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58193) - you deserved it (7540)

On 08/04/2013 at 7:21am - animals - by Barking Mad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML

#20787656
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48652) - you deserved it (3242)

On 07/17/2013 at 1:22am - health - by :-( - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

#20765683
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45204) - you deserved it (7497)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43475) - you deserved it (3052)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80740) - you deserved it (3916)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55926) - you deserved it (5707)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66664) - you deserved it (15232)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (4725)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51772) - you deserved it (4970)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60077) - you deserved it (3461)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

#20634352
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (7797)

On 05/01/2013 at 4:21am - love - by brigie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41909) - you deserved it (8793)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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