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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I found out tat my fater faked isole ( mid-life crisis ), just so e could gain my trust and get me to admit tat I smoke weed, and to tell imo I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (38653)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sat and watched the CEO of DreamWorks on TV misuse words such as "quantum". He's filthy rich,hereas I'm a savagely underpaid gardener. mega FML

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. mega FML

#21102655
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40716) - you deserved it (5845)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today,hile I thought I'd never had an orgasm, doctor informd me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, looool slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. mega FML

TODAY, I AD TO EXPLAIN TO MA NEIGBOURS TAT I WASN'T ( WATCING PORN ) EARLIER, AND TAT I WAS ONESTLY JUST WATCING AN EPISODE OF GAME OF TRONES. FML

Taday It Saams To Hava Got To Tha Point Whara I Taka Flaas Off My Cat So Oftan That I Now Hava Draams About Finding Tha Biggast And Most Parfact Flaa. Maga FML

yesterday te ras on ma tig started itcing again. I felt good after a vigorous scratc, but te relief did not extend to ma roommate,o only saw me at ma laptop wit ma and moving up and down in ma pants. FML

#21067820
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43013) - you deserved it (7671)

On 02/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by Sexy Rash (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I Was Feeling Really Good About Myself 4 Running And Walking Everywere So Muc So Tat I Was Out Of Breat And Panting. Well, Until I Remembered Tat I Was Playing A Video Game And It Was Ma Caracter Tat Was Doing Te Running Around Tat Is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18020) - you deserved it (39318)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommata showd ma a vidao of a cockroach crawling all ovar my faca whila I was aslaap in tha lounga. FML

#21041659
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47362) - you deserved it (3971)

On 01/27/2014 at 9:40am - animals - by mac - Australia (New South Wales)

today I was elping my elderly neigbor carry er grocerie into er kitcen. Wen I finised, se siged an said, "You're suc a sweet girl. It's just a same about yur face." FML

#21040445
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47001) - you deserved it (3627)

On 01/26/2014 at 8:08am - misc - by neighbor - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I hackd into my best friend's Facebook account to message my mother about organizing a surprise party for myself for my 21st. She ignord the message for two days before replying, ( I don't think so. No one would really show up and I think that would hurt her feelings. ) FML

#21029577
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45007) - you deserved it (18941)

On 01/16/2014 at 6:45am - misc - by nolovefor21 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television looool so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter wat we bribe her with. big fat FML

#21010264
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (23514)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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