FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

by oops / 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

by mareecasellafml / 03/27/2015 at 5:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

by sexybelly / 03/26/2015 at 4:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

by twelvie / 03/23/2015 at 10:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

by tobuscus9412 / 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 11:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

by SteamyPenguin / 03/13/2015 at 11:04am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

by MyPrecious... / 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

by no touching / 03/06/2015 at 9:03am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML

by anonymous / 02/16/2015 at 7:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals