Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, my father decided to tell me in detail when and how he lost his virginity. He even told me what position it was and who this girl was. I will never look at him in the same way again. He also made his hands "have sex". FML

#7364490
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20201) - you deserved it (2223)

On 01/15/2010 at 7:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received an email saying that the present I ordered for my girlfriend's birthday will be a week late, which makes it a week late for her birthday. I sat down and said we needed to talk, she burst into tears and apologised for 'sleeping with him,' I just wanted to tell her it would be late. FML

#7334847
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44429) - you deserved it (2449)

On 01/14/2010 at 6:26am - love - by in_side_out (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6865) - you deserved it (34628)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, I dropped a heavy block of lead on my hand. On my hunt for ice, I had to tell my manager - who told her manager, who told the chief - in the end, the whole department found out and they made me fill in two long arsed incident reports. I had to fill them in myself with my busted up hand. FML

#7192176
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20358) - you deserved it (2844)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:19am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

#7156586
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21407) - you deserved it (8116)

On 01/05/2010 at 12:15am - animals - by bels12 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 4 year old daughter was ripping out photos of the family photo book, I asked her why she was doing it she answered, "I saw mummy doing it to another book." The only other family photo book was the day we got married. FML

#7140982
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24035) - you deserved it (2493)

On 01/04/2010 at 3:50am - misc - by Michael (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a new laptop for Christmas. The picture on the box showed a woman balancing it on one finger to show how light it was, so I tried it myself. I dropped my laptop, breaking the hard drive and putting a massive crack down the screen. FML

#6953909
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6393) - you deserved it (89382)

On 12/26/2009 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while eating a sandwich, I saw a worm. Knowing that my friend always tries to scare me with fake worms and insects, I bit it to show her I knew it was fake. It was real. FML

#6893264
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9165) - you deserved it (28604)

On 12/22/2009 at 10:52pm - animals - by iHateWorms (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

#6859062
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4323) - you deserved it (49883)

On 12/21/2009 at 1:25am - health - by farmakakis (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

#6850443
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10130) - you deserved it (33827)

On 12/20/2009 at 5:41pm - misc - by mannnnn2717 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

#6824662
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (4367)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:18am - love - by Madagascar (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

#6774546
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9828) - you deserved it (23223)

On 12/16/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by babyfatt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

#6697068
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26438) - you deserved it (2730)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by BabyBeardy - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML's Thanksgiving Special: TGS
  • As many of us know through popular culture, today is Thanksgiving in the US. Come on, we’ve all seen a TV show involving a Thanksgiving dinner or plans to do so that have gone awry due to one of the main…

Wednesday 26 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: