FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 5:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

by Joe / 04/03/2011 at 3:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

by changeddaily / 03/20/2011 at 12:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

by unwanted / 03/19/2011 at 5:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

by notsosmart / 03/06/2011 at 6:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2011 at 8:39am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I realised how poor I am when I found myself fishing out a two dollar coin someone had left behind in a public toilet bowl. FML

by youshitme / 03/01/2011 at 7:12am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

by misswhiskers / 02/28/2011 at 6:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I sent an email to a girl I like about how I really feel about her. She later replied "Real funny, tell Michael to change his password!" FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2011 at 1:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

by lisha182 / 02/20/2011 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

by O.o / 02/20/2011 at 3:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I arranged to have some flowers delivered at work for Valentine's Day so that my colleagues will think someone likes me. FML

by alone / 02/14/2011 at 12:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2011 at 5:02am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous