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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (5829)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (4256)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML

#13139636
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29788) - you deserved it (4707)

On 09/21/2010 at 4:50am - misc - by teardrops - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (3425)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

#12966351
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33041) - you deserved it (7424)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15989) - you deserved it (20253)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12592) - you deserved it (49900)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

#12836034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25822) - you deserved it (4016)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:46am - love - by kp - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25632) - you deserved it (2615)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML

#12706855
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16956) - you deserved it (47976)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by Ahook1 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26193) - you deserved it (3566)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

#11422420
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45103) - you deserved it (4613)

On 06/24/2010 at 6:09am - love - by facebook (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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