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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

#12946096
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15910) - you deserved it (20172)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:18am - intimacy - by neckcrack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

#12931199
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12212) - you deserved it (49079)

On 09/06/2010 at 8:50am - intimacy - by sad-sexed (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

#12836034
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (3931)

On 08/31/2010 at 8:46am - love - by kp - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs while delivering a pizza, and severely sprained my ankle. The guy looked at me lying there, and shut the door in my face. I then got told to "Suck it up, Princess" by my manager. FML

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

#12746191
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (2612)

On 08/25/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by bevo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that my infertile girlfriend, who I have been having unprotected sex with for the past two months, is apparently very fertile. FML

#12706855
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16864) - you deserved it (47836)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by Ahook1 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26078) - you deserved it (3554)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

#11422420
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44154) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/24/2010 at 6:09am - love - by facebook (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought an expensive dress because it was me and my boyfriend's one year anniversary, and he was taking me somewhere nice. When he saw me in the dress, he looked at me, laughed and said, "Seriously, what are you wearing?" FML

#11097404
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28812) - you deserved it (6704)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:06am - misc - by notyouraverageteenager - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48538) - you deserved it (17273)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

#10796974
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38979) - you deserved it (2875)

On 05/27/2010 at 10:06am - misc - by reginaphalange - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to do something fun and spontaneous, so we had sex in the disabled toilet in the shopping centre. Little did we know, the male AND female toilets were conveniently being cleaned at the time, so the only toilet open was the disabled one. Walk of shame. FML

#10279492
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9213) - you deserved it (41108)

On 05/01/2010 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by sam (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was pulled over by a cop and was fined $210 for making an illegal u-turn. When the cop finished writing my ticket and hopped in his car, he made the same u-turn. FML

#9770202
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42583) - you deserved it (6710)

On 04/10/2010 at 1:00am - money - by lance - Australia (New South Wales)



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