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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

#17752221
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6708) - you deserved it (57948)

On 09/15/2011 at 5:22pm - misc - by Cooper491 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML

#17687215
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2569)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:55am - work - by minimoonpie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I bought a new goldfish. While leaving my fish on my balcony to go get fish food, I hear a loud squawk and splash, I race outside to see a bird flying off with my fish. FML

#17603044
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15562) - you deserved it (41289)

On 08/28/2011 at 7:29am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22587) - you deserved it (16099)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after waiting 3 months, I finally got my wedding dress back from the dry-cleaners. The dry cleaning lasted longer than the marriage. FML

#17583056
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37655) - you deserved it (9673)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:28am - love - by justmyluck - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was getting a bit intimate with my boyfriend. Just when things were getting interesting, my dog managed to get into my room. He jumped on the bed and my boyfriend spent the next 20 minutes playing with the dog, while I sat next to him, half naked. FML

#17575324
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31601) - you deserved it (4561)

On 08/25/2011 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Puppy Loverr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was dancing with the 4 hottest girls I've ever seen at a club, and I fainted. FML

#17506139
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33734) - you deserved it (8542)

On 08/18/2011 at 1:18am - health - by gb - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34438) - you deserved it (13737)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

#17448380
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29428) - you deserved it (2833)

On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29943) - you deserved it (4537)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40619) - you deserved it (3286)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35514) - you deserved it (3443)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41937) - you deserved it (5634)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)



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