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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I discovered that the upside of losing weight is that men have started hitting on me. The downside? They're all twice my age. FML

#13684302
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (3880)

On 11/02/2010 at 2:50am - love - by stillyoung (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62980) - you deserved it (8994)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

#13612970
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (5107)

On 10/27/2010 at 8:36am - love - by me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shaving my left armpit when I cut myself badly. I wondered whether or not it would be safe to shave my right armpit, then reasoned that it couldn’t possibly happen twice. It did. FML

#13534827
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14108) - you deserved it (23817)

On 10/21/2010 at 6:57am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I temporarily got off the bus for the other students to get off, because they push and shove along their way. Then the bus driver closed the door on me and drove off. My laptop was on that bus. FML

#13509015
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27137) - you deserved it (15080)

On 10/19/2010 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he chose me out of all the hotter girls out there. He told me it's because I have great birthing hips. Apparently I'm having six children. FML

#13495933
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27802) - you deserved it (5024)

On 10/18/2010 at 5:06am - love - by louise. - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20804) - you deserved it (18124)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

#13430217
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (3415)

On 10/13/2010 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22524) - you deserved it (5712)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (4110)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML

#13139636
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (4703)

On 09/21/2010 at 4:50am - misc - by teardrops - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I awkwardly had to comfort my 32 year old friend when he broke down crying in the middle of a crowded McDonald's. Apparently they no longer serve barbecue bacon cheeseburgers. FML

#12973332
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27593) - you deserved it (3321)

On 09/09/2010 at 3:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML

#12966351
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32887) - you deserved it (7406)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)



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