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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML

#16041844
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11802) - you deserved it (29791)

On 05/04/2011 at 6:01am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

#15844310
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26877) - you deserved it (2958)

On 04/19/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Violet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
732 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48764) - you deserved it (6988)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

#15818561
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35908) - you deserved it (5294)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
385 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (17702)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38955) - you deserved it (6351)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38032) - you deserved it (9046)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15357) - you deserved it (24620)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

#15616826
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30079) - you deserved it (2768)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

#15392908
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30111) - you deserved it (10083)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:52am - love - by changeddaily (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

#15379189
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:25am - animals - by unwanted (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son broke a window at school playing football. Not only did he break one, he broke the other window next to it. His excuse? He tried making it look like a bird flew in one way and flew out the other. I have to pay $800 to fix it. FML

#15215945
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (3969)

On 03/06/2011 at 6:28am - money - by notsosmart - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML

#15195010
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14706) - you deserved it (9191)

On 03/04/2011 at 8:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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