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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I caught myself thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight. During sex. FML

#18878139
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (6886)

On 01/22/2012 at 6:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

#18851761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29861) - you deserved it (2123)

On 01/19/2012 at 7:17am - misc - by toothpaste (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first day being a full-time paramedic. I was shot in the arm. FML

#18850340
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40171) - you deserved it (2501)

On 01/19/2012 at 12:44am - work - by bad luck? - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I anxiously waited 8 hours for an important phone call. The phone rang while I was sitting on the toilet. FML

#18847720
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (3360)

On 01/18/2012 at 8:54pm - work - by iliterallypoopedmyself (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

#18819686
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28492) - you deserved it (2082)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home to my fiancé and his mates playing Monopoly naked in our backyard. FML

#18803544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27029) - you deserved it (3407)

On 01/14/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#18673458
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32347) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:51am - misc - by Grandson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

#18614402
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (5552)

On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

#18601417
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (16698)

On 12/24/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by Nowajerk (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12272) - you deserved it (30315)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML

#18479529
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11247) - you deserved it (30027)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by nakedness (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my boyfriend about how a few years ago I had cancer, and how I underwent radiation therapy. His response? "Did you glow in the dark?" FML

#18466406
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30507) - you deserved it (3536)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:41am - health - by GlowInTheDark (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, working at a daycare centre, when packing up the kids' beds after sleep time, I slipped and landed in a puddle. Of urine. I had no spare pants. I had to wear them for the rest of my shift. FML

#18459141
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24521) - you deserved it (3013)

On 12/08/2011 at 7:40am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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