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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

#17266001
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (2982)

On 07/26/2011 at 9:35am - misc - by ceetee - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML

#17252613
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31441) - you deserved it (3094)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:10am - misc - by Bec (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you deserved it (5255)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML

#17134448
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (4245)

On 07/16/2011 at 9:28am - kids - by Rejected (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me because he wanted some independence. He moved back into his parents house. FML

#17008164
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31506) - you deserved it (3206)

On 07/07/2011 at 12:04am - love - by independence (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52440) - you deserved it (16509)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to make a deal with my 22 year old fiancé. What was the deal? If he put deodorant on, he could squeeze my boob for as long as he liked. FML

#16939716
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35640) - you deserved it (9815)

On 07/01/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by NYMTS - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm a graduate but still an unpaid intern. My daily work is folding letters and putting them into envelopes. The sad thing is, I actually enjoy doing it. FML

#16805369
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21853) - you deserved it (7155)

On 06/22/2011 at 8:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38143) - you deserved it (23211)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss gave me an "All you need to know about grammar" book. FML

#16704546
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8877) - you deserved it (28352)

On 06/17/2011 at 12:16am - work - by illiterate - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

#16480060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35223) - you deserved it (3102)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I read my university's newsletter. Apparently we're starting up a "buddy" system for international students. I'm signing up, because this will help me complete my goal of making my first friend at university. FML

#16430117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28400) - you deserved it (5105)

On 05/31/2011 at 1:50am - misc - by loner (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I made a fresh juice for a customer. He called the cops because the juice was too acidic for him. He sat in a corner and waited for two hours for them to arrive. Obviously, they didn't turn up. So he yelled at me and left. FML

#16367942
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33510) - you deserved it (2761)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - work - by Alice - Australia (New South Wales)



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