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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (7068)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (2348)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56039) - you deserved it (8325)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

#18172214
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (11076)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:17am - animals - by dre_bro11 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

#18153338
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28382) - you deserved it (2284)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:04am - work - by fired (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32665) - you deserved it (3230)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

#18101426
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36683) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:22am - love - by backstabbed - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23660) - you deserved it (2555)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24653) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28676) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

#17960494
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (2500)

On 10/11/2011 at 4:05pm - health - by top dog! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

#17927232
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (3944)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by jkass - Australia (New South Wales)



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