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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML

#18354691
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (2055)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:38am - kids - by Annon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34131) - you deserved it (11449)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered my wife and I have referred to our two-year-old as 'cutie' or 'beautiful' so many times she won't respond to her own name. FML

#18304597
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11907) - you deserved it (37708)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:23am - kids - by BadFather (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40382) - you deserved it (7061)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

#18225907
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21913) - you deserved it (2344)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:27am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

#18200253
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55958) - you deserved it (8314)

On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

#18172214
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28876) - you deserved it (11067)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:17am - animals - by dre_bro11 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

#18153338
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28325) - you deserved it (2281)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:04am - work - by fired (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32620) - you deserved it (3229)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my best friend in bed with my current boyfriend. Apparently watching movies naked is "the new in thing". FML

#18101426
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36632) - you deserved it (2656)

On 10/29/2011 at 3:22am - love - by backstabbed - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

#18029940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23611) - you deserved it (2555)

On 10/20/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by jwhizzle - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24616) - you deserved it (2871)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

#18021693
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (3027)

On 10/19/2011 at 5:40am - misc - by targe - Australia (New South Wales)



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