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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

#19687901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11003) - you deserved it (30991)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I checked my fake Facebook account for the first time in ages and realized that the fake me got more birthday greetings than the real me. FML

#19682263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9167) - you deserved it (23478)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:17am - love - by TheL1nds - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

#19676942
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5275) - you deserved it (29575)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Karate Kid (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had dinner with my family for the first time in a couple of days. My mum and dad spent the majority of the time arguing whether salt or pepper weighed more. This is why I'm not home often. FML

#19666760
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16860) - you deserved it (1817)

On 05/23/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML

#19664202
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15749) - you deserved it (4086)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm - health - by fml - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML

#19659834
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (4614)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

#19505040
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (4179)

On 04/21/2012 at 5:26am - misc - by jaderie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out about my old school's class reunion, which I wasn't invited to. Everyone has my number and e-mail address. They just "forgot" to tell me. FML

#19448079
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19779) - you deserved it (2390)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:34am - misc - by Girl-with-the-glasses (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML

#19428378
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23293) - you deserved it (3114)

On 04/08/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by Jordan - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

#19421623
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9669) - you deserved it (44129)

On 04/07/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by bman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (3198)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20246) - you deserved it (5501)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

#19324858
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (32477)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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