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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16040) - you deserved it (4815)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML

#19324858
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8968) - you deserved it (30796)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

#19275863
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19777) - you deserved it (3597)

On 03/14/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I vacuumed my car as I'm trying to sell it. After the interior was clean, I sprayed some air freshener. The chosen smell was "new car". I think they mislabeled it, as my car now smells like urinal cakes. I have two potential buyers coming tomorrow. FML

#19201206
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15398) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:19am - misc - by Urinal Fresh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36085) - you deserved it (7515)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

#19113107
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (1917)

On 02/19/2012 at 3:55am - health - by preggo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

#19095888
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (1590)

On 02/16/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Tay - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was talking to a guy I really liked, hoping that he would ask me out. Eventually he asked for my number. I was so excited that I couldn't remember it. FML

#19091459
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18154) - you deserved it (5783)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

#18990200
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11904) - you deserved it (22451)

On 02/04/2012 at 5:16am - intimacy - by mattttbob - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

#18959231
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18475) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/31/2012 at 6:07am - health - by Arielle (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was flying his toy helicopter at my head. It got stuck in my hair and I now have a bald patch. FML

#18939799
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (2980)

On 01/29/2012 at 1:31am - misc - by honey soy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20808) - you deserved it (2480)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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