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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML

#19990341
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21593) - you deserved it (2910)

On 07/29/2012 at 4:11am - kids - by ellieowenie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

#19987975
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10773) - you deserved it (38450)

On 07/27/2012 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by clayton (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother screamed at my brother for ages for playing a Nicki Minaj music video. She said it's "terrible, demonic garbage" that'll get us "spitroasted in Hell". I don't even disagree with the first part, but she does this kind of thing every single day when I get home from my night job. FML

#19938478
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (1955)

On 07/14/2012 at 8:22pm - misc - by arghgffhdfg (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20841) - you deserved it (2018)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I let my daughter bake a cake for her brother's fifth birthday party. She showed up later with a cake in the shape of a cock and balls. Apparently it's okay, though, because "I frosted it to look like a rocket, hehehe!" I can't believe my balls spawned this moron. FML

#19867387
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20830) - you deserved it (5950)

On 06/29/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML

#19816432
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25577) - you deserved it (4640)

On 06/20/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by meeks123 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

Today, my psychiatrist asked me if I felt bad about my weight. When I said no, he looked surprised and said, "Why not?" FML

#19786105
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25473) - you deserved it (4400)

On 06/14/2012 at 7:26am - misc - by ouch - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10439) - you deserved it (30094)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "F*ck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML

#19775442
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19883) - you deserved it (7339)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:34am - misc - by perfectman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were acting out a kinky scenario at home, where we'd met in a club and were having a one night stand. We ended up getting into a real argument about an imaginary girl in the club. I didn't have sex and we haven't spoken since. FML

#19687901
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10947) - you deserved it (30857)

On 05/27/2012 at 10:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I checked my fake Facebook account for the first time in ages and realized that the fake me got more birthday greetings than the real me. FML

#19682263
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9139) - you deserved it (23376)

On 05/26/2012 at 5:17am - love - by TheL1nds - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

#19676942
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5252) - you deserved it (29470)

On 05/25/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Karate Kid (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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