Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25709) - you deserved it (1858)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25369) - you deserved it (4153)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (2325)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11234) - you deserved it (37537)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29440) - you deserved it (3810)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29481) - you deserved it (4149)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34639) - you deserved it (2501)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

#21379134
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (594) - you deserved it (2484)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

#21377041
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29278) - you deserved it (3000)

On 03/18/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, one of the guys I work with ran his finger down the back of my shirt and said, "Just checking to see if you're wearing a bra today". FML

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19369) - you deserved it (26360)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

#21369215
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31892) - you deserved it (4831)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:03am - misc - by no touching - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: