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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (1930)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

Today, all of my roommates handed in their vacating notice unexpectedly. They are all moving to a new house together in two weeks, leaving me to be either homeless or forced to pay 4 times what I was paying in rent. FML

#21409927
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:41am - money - by sparkyjaf - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at my job in a gas station, a customer who had previously driven off without paying came in to shout abuse at me because I had said in the police statement, "He looks about 60." He is apparently 55. He didn't come in to pay, he came in to swear at me. FML

#21404993
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29851) - you deserved it (1848)

On 05/05/2015 at 6:50am - work - by GotGasNotLuck (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my father tried to excuse his alcoholism by saying that his stomach stops working, and he needs to drink vodka to get it started again. FML

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

#21399833
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32022) - you deserved it (2495)

On 04/26/2015 at 3:09am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (2072)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26516) - you deserved it (4476)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (2478)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11244) - you deserved it (37601)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (3819)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

#21381725
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30494) - you deserved it (4307)

On 03/26/2015 at 4:35am - kids - by sexybelly - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34689) - you deserved it (2502)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)



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