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FMLs submitted from New South Wales

Today, I saw a dick for the first time in my life, on the early morning crowded train headed for work. FML

#21465627
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (2651)

On 09/07/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a male friend of mine tried to kiss me. When I shoved him away and demanded to know what the fuck he was doing, he said he didn't think I was really a lesbian because I went on a date with a guy. Once. Over 15 years ago. FML

#21465389
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26273) - you deserved it (2560)

On 09/06/2015 at 8:54pm - love - by Tag (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I arrived 10 minutes early to my orthodontist's office to get my braces off. It turns out my appointment was actually one hour earlier, and now the next available appointment is in four weeks. FML

#21464662
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (7764)

On 09/04/2015 at 8:43pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took the lid off my slow cooker to serve up a casserole that had been 12 hours in the making. A cockroach took the opportunity to dive in. My husband and I are now eating toast, while the delicious smell of casserole taunts us from the trash. FML

Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML

#21453063
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (2138)

On 08/07/2015 at 7:24am - misc - by ruserious (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML

#21452951
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (3345)

On 08/06/2015 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by Notsurewhattofeelaboutthis (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer bitched me out, saying he wouldn't eat his vegetarian dish because it didn't "look vegetarian enough." He then demanded a refund and a plate of the same vegetarian dish. FML

#21448499
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23688) - you deserved it (1428)

On 07/28/2015 at 9:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went out to inspect the backyard. There are now more than two dozen spiders hanging out and webs crossing from one side of the yard to the other. I have decided to surrender this territory. FML

#21445864
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24531) - you deserved it (2770)

On 07/23/2015 at 5:44am - animals - by Skoff (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML

#21440955
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23975) - you deserved it (3869)

On 07/13/2015 at 9:56am - misc - by distracted - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (4691)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband asked me to buy a different brand of dish soap, as the one he was using wasn't working. After a quick look, I had to agree. The lemon cordial he had been using, while tasting nice, didn't really help clean the dishes. FML

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

#21430908
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32222) - you deserved it (3448)

On 06/23/2015 at 10:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, some asshat ran onto the road and tried and jump over my car as I drove by. He didn't make the jump. FML



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