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FMLs submitted from New Mexico

Today, I got asked out for the first time in my life. During a prank call. By a complete stranger. FML

#16891673
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30662) - you deserved it (3864)

On 06/28/2011 at 1:35am - misc - by veebenjoo - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

#16580988
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13028) - you deserved it (45840)

On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML

#15879148
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29650) - you deserved it (8895)

On 04/21/2011 at 9:53pm - love - by fatcat117 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML

#14969181
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (2770)

On 02/14/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by TheKingDavis (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML

#14589088
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28516) - you deserved it (3041)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

#13709445
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10847) - you deserved it (36136)

On 11/04/2010 at 12:18am - intimacy - by shotdown (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML

#12957877
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (2088)

On 09/08/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by bustedfornuthin - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (3664)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32760) - you deserved it (14451)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

#7563782
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14237) - you deserved it (3827)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

#6933865
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (2069)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:25am - misc - by sucks_brah (woman) - United States (New Mexico)



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