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FMLs submitted from New Jersey

Today, I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me for the past month. The lady he has been seeing is a choreographer that was teaching him how to dance salsa for our wedding rehearsal. FML

#19509327
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29488) - you deserved it (2151)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:20am - love - by Gennifer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while driving home, I realized I forgot my house key. Luckily, when I arrived home, someone had already broken into my house. Guess I didn't need the key. FML

#19486401
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21399) - you deserved it (1638)

On 04/17/2012 at 8:55pm - misc - by yuuupyup - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to a note from my parents saying we need to talk. Assuming it was about the weed I'd left on my dresser, I quickly confessed. Turns out my dog died. FML

#19457923
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9736) - you deserved it (33194)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:02pm - misc - by marymark - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

#19435373
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25841) - you deserved it (1952)

On 04/09/2012 at 8:23am - misc - by zazzleface - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I introduced my mother to my new girlfriend. My mom made a very nasty comment about her in Spanish, not realizing that my girlfriend teaches Spanish at the local school. FML

#19385390
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32637) - you deserved it (2404)

On 03/31/2012 at 11:01pm - love - by spanishsucks - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

#19325916
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14448) - you deserved it (8640)

On 03/22/2012 at 10:59am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

#19177249
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (2598)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm - misc - by Username (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML

#19121562
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29533) - you deserved it (5843)

On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML

#19085409
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25947) - you deserved it (2884)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:50pm - health - by TerribleAddiction - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

#19011410
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (1823)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:43pm - health - by Marc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22784) - you deserved it (2135)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I put on a pair of sneakers that I'd left outside, and went jogging. After several minutes of pain, I pulled off one of the sneakers, only to find dozens of baby spiders had moved in. FML

#18824245
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33129) - you deserved it (10322)

On 01/16/2012 at 12:10pm - animals - by moorox45 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom was more upset about my 67 on an Algebra test than my sister almost setting the house on fire. FML

#18788903
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (5557)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:20pm - misc - by xXMudkipNoobXx - United States (New Jersey)



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